The older you get, the harder it is to find someone willing to share a horse costume with you. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When your parents don't answer your calls, it's ok but when you don't answer your parent's calls, worldwar III is about to… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
MODERN PHILOSOPHIES: 1. Love thy neighbor. But don't get caught. 2. The wise never marry. When they do, they become otherwise. 3.… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
There are three types of men; those who learn by reading, those who learn by watching, and those who pee on the… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
People say everything happens for a reason... well when I punch you in the face remember that happened for a reason! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Don't talk to me about naval tradition. It's nothing but rum, sodomy, and the lash. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It hurts when someone with whom you wanna talk ignores you,but it hurts worst when you ignore that person because they are… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Happy Friendship Day to a best friend who single-handedly raises my family's suspicions about my sexual orientation. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Those memories that you randomly remember and suddenly can't stop smiling. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Log off Facebook, close laptop, get into bed, grab phone, check Facebook. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Valentine's Day is when a lot of married men are reminded what a poor shot Cupid really is. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When you have a hammer in your hand everything around you starts looking like a nail. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Women may be able to fake an orgasm, but men can fake a whole relationship — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Mom, I'm doing my homework,I promise. LOL, JK. I just minimized Facebook and opened Google the second you walked in my room — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Boy : I really like you. Girl : Cool story bro, how many other girls did you tell that to ? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I’m bored’ is a useless thing to say. I mean, you live in a great, big, vast world that you’ve seen none… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You were born at home, but when your mother saw you she went to the hospital. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Sometimes I just want to give it all up and become a handsome billionaire. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Dad, I'm hungry Hi Hungry, I'm dad. Dad, I'm serious. I thought you were Hungry. Are you kidding me? Nope, I'm Dad. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
His smile. His lips. His laugh. His hair. His eyes. His hands. Hishumour. His smirk. His weird faces. Not a name was… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You don't truly know someone until you see how they react to their bag of chips getting stuck in a vending machine. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Anyone here a fan of The Little Mix? OR. is anyone a fan of Odd Future? lol — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Things I dislike waking up in the morning, checking my phone, and seeing no good morning text from you. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Happy Memorial Day to someone who would stab himself in the leg to avoid military service. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when your mother compares you to another kid and she has no idea how much worse they are than… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I wasn't that drunk... Dude, youwere running downtown screaming to strangers OH NA NA NA WHAT'S MY NAME. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Thanks for being a wonderful mother and always supporting me in every decision you ever made for me. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'd love to come celebrate Canada Day with you but I've already spent all my money on healthcare... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
And a tear rolled down her cheek, as she said goodbye; because she's walking away, and she's never looking back — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You'll seldom experience regret for anything that you've done. It is what you haven't done that will torment you. The message, therefore, is clear.… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Scrabble - The game is available in Braille. That’s a nice fact. This makes me feel better about humanity for some reason. I can’t… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“THIS tale of my sore-troubled life I write, To thank the God of nature, who conveyed My soul to me, and with such care… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Put on my J's and dance the whole night away Im naughty by nature like Im hip-hop hooray With my hands in the sky,… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Me.. I have been through a lot, but I still manage to have a smile on my face. Im not worried about the past… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The only person I've ever purposely caused pain here is myself...By simply sharing, caring too much. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
