Funny Quotes by Anonymous · Page 57

Kids in the back seat cause accidents.. Accidents in the back seat cause kids..

— Anonymous

Who says I can't cook? You've obviously never tasted my cereal!

— Anonymous

Boys, if you ask a girl who she likes and she says Oh nobody. 1% are telling the truth. 5% are lying.…

— Anonymous

Every year I go to halloween parties as a ninja so don't expect to see me there.

— Anonymous

Most people are lucky they cant hear what Im thinking.

— Anonymous

Let's rejoice that the herculean task of trying to ignore Harry Potter is almost over.

— Anonymous

Those awkward but funny things that pop up on Facebook.XD

— Anonymous

Monday must be a man it comes too quickly.

— Anonymous

They should have cell phone chargers in waiting rooms instead of magazines.

— Anonymous

Dwarves are funny. Look at them scurrying away on their stumpy little legs.

— Anonymous

I don't have bad writing. I have my own font.

— Anonymous

But Dumbledore says he doesn't care what they do as long as they don't take him off the Chocolate Frog cards.

— Anonymous

Ghetto wet floor sign: Caution, b*tches be trippin...

— Anonymous

I will be solemnly honoring our military this weekend because no one invited me anywhere fun.

— Anonymous

40 is just a fancy word for old timer...

— Anonymous

My phone is like my lover.....its the last thing I see at night , and the first thing I wake up to…

— Anonymous

When you can't have what you want, it's time to start wanting what you have.

— Anonymous

I'm really good at keeping secrets because five minutes later I forget what you told me because I don't care.

— Anonymous

Dear Santa, ( ) I've been good all year. ( ) Ok most of the time. ( ) Once in a while.…

— Anonymous

21 is the age of responsibility. Give it a few months and you will be wondering why you were in such a…

— Anonymous

You haven't truly grown up yet till you realize spongebobs the asshole neighbor, not squidward.

— Anonymous

I'm not LAZY I'm just on my energy SAVING mode

— Anonymous

Remember to let yourself relax this Labor Day before letting yourself go this winter.

— Anonymous

Is there gonna be food? YeahOk then I'm coming.

— Anonymous

The more studying you did for the exam, the less sure you are as to which answer they want.

— Anonymous

I laugh in the face of danger.It's a silent laugh and I usually wait until danger turns around.

— Anonymous

When I was your age, I was sucking on lollipops N0T boys. .

— Anonymous

OLS can the trial court rule in flavor.

— Anonymous

Dear sneeze, if you're gonna happen, happen. Don't put a stupid look on my face and leave it at that. Sincerely .…

— Anonymous

The harder you press the button the stronger the attack would be.

— Anonymous

It's scary that 50% of all marriages end in divorce...it's even scarier that the other 50% last forever.

— Anonymous

I don't like morning people.. or mornings.. or people.

— Anonymous

People say Go to Hell like it's a bad thing. I wouldn't mind Hell, it's warm and I know people there.

— Anonymous

If you were home alone in the middle of the night, and you heard a fart, would you laugh or be scared?

— Anonymous

WHEN YOUR PEN RUNS OUT: 5% Calmly getting a new one 95% SCRIBBLE SCRIBBLE SCRIBBLE! .

— Anonymous

Vegetarian: An indian word for lousy hunter.

— Anonymous

I'd love to attend your wedding if it wasn't going to put overwhelming pressure on me to have my own.

— Anonymous

I can't wait for your wedding reception to show everyone why I'm divorced.

— Anonymous

RUNNING like a NINJA, when your laptop display 10% battery.

— Anonymous

Dear Spongebob, it's been more than 10 years, you're not getting your license

— Anonymous