Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
So, have a little fun. Soon enough you'll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
And off we go, out onto the highway looking for a little fun. Perhaps a flatbed truck loaded with human cadavers will… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I make fun of people who are religious, because they're fundamentally weak. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I think everybody should be able to do anything they want and let roving bands of people punish each other for things… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
The enjoyment has been diminishing. Now, there's no question that it's sort of fun to get high. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I never go anywhere or do anything that transports me outside the boundaries of my mind. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Comedy, although it is not one of the fine arts - it's a vulgar art, it's one of the people's arts, it's the spoken… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. ... These two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“TOMORROW IS ANOTHER DAY. Not true. Today is another day. We have no idea what tomorrow is going to be. It might turn out… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I was a loner as a child. I had an imaginary friend - I didn't bother with him. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“If you guys want to get a MOM tattoo and save a little money, just get two letters done. Get about a one-inch capital… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday! — George Carlin Copy Share Image
It ended suddenly for Brenda, more slowly for me. My runs began getting shorter and less pleasurable. I'd feel bad after only one day,… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
The whole idea of the pursuit of goods and possessions has completely corrupted the human experience, along with religion, which I think limits the… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
