Wait a minute! Wait a minute! I figured this out. I know what's wrong with what we've done in Iraq. We've been… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Everybody talks about the entitlement generation. There is no time I'd rather live in than now, and there is no generation I… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
I have the liberal dictionary right here...let's see how they define water-boarding: 'Something done by the evil troops, who we don't support,… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
We hear every damn day about how fragile our country is - on the brink of catastrophe - torn by polarizing hate,… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Most Americans don't live their lives solely as Democrats or Republicans or conservatives or liberals. Most Americans live their lives that are… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
No health care for poor kids? You know, I thought something like that was only done by cartoon villains. You're (Pres. Bush)… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
You guys (Boko Haram) are trying so hard to convince everybody that you're such badasses. But all you've done with this kidnapping… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
McVeigh's lawyer got him the death penalty, which, quite frankly, I could have done. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Yes, it seems that as the President (George W. Bush) comes to the end of his two terms, he's finally realized the… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
I don't know how people feel,that's the beauty of TV, is they can see us, but we can't see them. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
I reject the idea there are just two sides. I think that with the amount of ideas and thoughts there are, it's not even… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Megachurches. I can't be the only one frightened when our houses of worship sound like they could take on Godzilla. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
While opponents label (Howard) Dean a throwback liberal, The New York Times recently noted that as governor, Dean cut income taxes, reformed welfare and… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
You just have to keep trying to do good work, and hope that it leads to more good work. I want to look back… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
You know, in Saudi Arabia, you're innocent until proven Jewish. Female. Guilty! They're guilty! — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
The unfortunate, yet truly exciting thing about your life, is that there is no core curriculum. The entire place is an elective. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Do you guys have to sell everything? I'd like to buy the Earth's core. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Christmas and the New Year are actually two holidays. So there is a plural, which in the English language, necessitates the use of 's.'… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
