Comedy Quotes by Jay Mohr

I think, here's what I've realized from interviewing people, and I've been very open about my Catholicism and my love of Christ and I…

— Jay Mohr

You remember from watching the show, there are no "jokes." That's why if you see people on Twitter accusing me of being a "joke…

— Jay Mohr

I'm telling you, I could teach at a university, [George] Carlin, a whole semester. The construction and deconstruction of the words, the language, the…

— Jay Mohr

Not everyone likes sports. Gandhi and Malcolm X come to mind.

— Jay Mohr

My wife and I have long discussions about [George] Carlin, and we refuse to accept that he died an atheist. It's just, confounding. When…

— Jay Mohr

I remember I used to go to The Laugh Factory and just goof off onstage, and then I'd see Dane Cook. He did a…

— Jay Mohr

“If you want God to laugh, make plans.”

— Jay Mohr

I didn't want to fight a guy from England. What if I lose? Not that English guys aren't strong, but who wants to get…

— Jay Mohr

All that waiting around for a glimmer of stage time, just getting angry every week... It was just an oppressive, horrible, horrible place to…

— Jay Mohr

First of all, my wife writes half my act. I don't know how I could "steal" from my wife.

— Jay Mohr

If there are 1,500 people in a theater and they're all there to see you, there are no other guys. You're the guy. So…

— Jay Mohr

I'm a comic because I don't want to do the nine-to-five, I have to modify that and say I'm a comic because I have…

— Jay Mohr

Comedians are always going to be in the showbiz middle class, you're not Brad Pitt; you're never going to be Sam Rockwell or Shia…

— Jay Mohr

When human beings stop progressing at an endeavor, they stop enjoying it and move on to something else. Not golfers. Masochists, all of them.

— Jay Mohr

If a waiter or waitress tells me when gratuity is included they automatically get more gratuity. When they hide it I go with the…

— Jay Mohr