If you have a few hundred followers and you let some of them molest children, they call you a cult leader. If… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
"Hi. You know with everything going down in West Palm Beach, and the holidays right around the corner I couldn't think of… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“If a fourteen year-old can deliver your message, it's not because he's gifted. It's because intellectually, you're a child.” — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I have a high state of resentment for the conformity in this country. If you're not married and having children, it's like… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I don't dislike children, I just don't particularly want to be around with them a lot. Problem is, neither do their parents. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I feel terrible for a Palestinian child who dies. But, if it's your father, your brother or your uncle who was firing… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
The Tea Baggers, they're not a movement, they're a cult.... Cults tend to populate from within, encouraging members to have huge broods… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
John Kerry made a joke about Bush being a moron, and now Bush wants morons to think it was a joke was… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
NEW RULE: 'Kidiots' Leave the children behind. At least until they learn something. A new study has shown that half of American… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Today is 'Take our Daughters to Work Day.' This is when girls ages Nine to Fifteen go to work. Or, as it's… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
This party is just full of children, and someone needs to leave them in a hot car. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“New Rule: If you married a manic-depressive, three of your children died, and while you were president civil war broke out and… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
But I've often said that if I had – I have two dogs – if I had two retarded children, I'd be… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Which is why I'd like to tip off law enforcement to an even larger child-abusing religious cult. Its leader also has a… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I have two dogs. If I had retarded children, I'd be a hero. And yet, the dogs are pretty much the same… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
If the NRA keeps messing with the President's daughters, they're going to have to start worrying about Michelle Obama's guns. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I think that religion stops people from thinking. I think it justifies crazies. I think flying planes into a building was a… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Stop worrying. Hollywood wont turn your daughter into a nymphomaniac or get her hooked on drugs... I will. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“New Rule: Don't name your kid after a ballpark. Cubs fans Paul and Teri Fields have named their newborn son Wrigley. Wrigley… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
If the bible myth of Jonah in the whale and the Mother Goose myth of Jack and the Beanstalk were switched at… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
When I hear from people that religion doesn't hurt anything, I say really? Well besides wars, the crusades, the inquisitions, 9-11, ethnic… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
If you were on a sinking ship and yelled, Women and children first! how much feminist opposition do you think you'd get?… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
We do it all the time, we legislate taste. We do it with the tax code. Churches and children get a tax… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Kids. They're not easy, but there has to be some penalty for having sex. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I'd like to protect children, too, but... is everything worth sacrificing to that? I mean, drugs have done a lot of good...… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
A lot of people say they are dyslexic; some have to realize that they are just stupid. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I saw this anti-drug commercial that showed a kid smoking pot in his dad`s room with his friend. This kid finds a gun, the… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
To all conservative women out there: If you are so sure the embryo needed for stem cell research are precious human life that can't… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
You see, the difference is the Republicans' hatred of Obama is based on a paranoid feeling about what he might do, what he's thinking,… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
New Rule: There is no devil, so stop blaming your screw-ups on him. Last week, one of the biggest evangelical leaders in America, the… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
If we were a dog and God owned us, the cops would come and take us away. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“New Rule: The White House doesn't have to release the dead Bin Laden photos, but don't pretend we can't take it. We've seen pictures… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I don't hate America. I love America. I want it to be better. The only way we can get it to be better is… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“New Rule: Americans must realize what makes NFL football so great: socialism. That's right, the NFL takes money from the rich teams and gives… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
