Overall Bush's European trip has been an overwhelming success. Not once has he gotten separated from his group. — David Letterman Copy Share Image
President Bush has said that he does not need approval from the UN to wage war, and I'm thinking, well, hell, he… — David Letterman Copy Share Image
President Bush wants to build a space station on the moon. And from the moon, he wants to launch people to Mars.… — David Letterman Copy Share Image
Bush explained his strategy for transfer of power. It's a two part plan. Part one: clean out his desk. Part two: rent… — David Letterman Copy Share Image
Political pundits are saying President George W. Bush has made gains in two key states: dazed and confused. — David Letterman Copy Share Image
President Bush says now he is sticking to his plan for handing over power to the Iraqis on June 30. It's also… — David Letterman Copy Share Image
President Obama is going to take two weeks to unwind, as opposed to President Bush, who never wound. — David Letterman Copy Share Image
It's interesting what former presidents do when they leave office. Bush is now working as a motivational speaker. And if you want… — David Letterman Copy Share Image
There's a rumor that President George Bush had a nose job, that he had some kind of plastic surgery, that he actually… — David Letterman Copy Share Image
Bronco Rick Perry is the first candidate I've ever heard say he's not doing well because he's sleepy. You know, we criticized… — David Letterman Copy Share Image
Two things you need to know about taxes. They've extended the deadline to April 18, and when you write your check, just make it… — David Letterman Copy Share Image
You know Kim Jong Un, the evil dictator of North Korea? Apparently, a guy in his inner circle used his ashtray while smoking and… — David Letterman Copy Share Image
It's the first day of spring. That means this weekend I'll take down my Christmas lights. — David Letterman Copy Share Image
There are a lot of New York City Thanksgiving traditions. For example, a lot of New Yorkers don't buy the frozen Thanksgiving turkey. They… — David Letterman Copy Share Image
I can hardly wait until Donald Trump announces his celebrity cabinet. — David Letterman Copy Share Image
Experts say this global warming is serious, and they are predicting now that by the year 2050, we will be out of party ice. — David Letterman Copy Share Image
We make a lot of fun at President Clinton's expense. But this transition is going to be tough because it's been 25 years since… — David Letterman Copy Share Image
I'm worried about John Kerry, he's so confident now that he's already planning his White House sex scandal. — David Letterman Copy Share Image
I vote Democrat because I'm way too irresponsible to own a gun, and I know that my local police are all I need to… — David Letterman Copy Share Image
Do I think there is a heaven? Uh, yeah I do. Like a really big gymnasium. How do I see myself there? With really… — David Letterman Copy Share Image
If it wasn't for coffee, I'd have no discernible personality at all. — David Letterman Copy Share Image
