Ass Quotes · Page 30

You see, I have a policy about honesty and ass-kicking, which is, if you ask for it, then I have to let…

— Taylor Mali

But we have to understand why we do what we do, not just do what we do. Vision without action is a…

— Pinball Clemons

Dear Humanity; we regret being alien bastards. We regret coming to Earth. And we most definitely regret that the Corps just blew…

— Avery Johnson

This country hates professors. It likes Toby Keith - 'I'm gonna put a boot in their ass.' If you don't do that,…

— Bill Maher

I think the one thing I would point to as a primary reason, basically, is that I was a gigantic ass, ...…

— David Letterman

Without numerical fluency, in the part of life most of us inhibit, you are like a one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest.

— Charlie Munger

I worked my ass off to earn what I have. You have to understand, not many people where I come from get…

— Conor McGregor

Chris Rock went from a guy whose name you knew from SNL to a legendary comedian by working his ass off.

— Ted Alexandro

[On refusing to be silenced:] I do not pretend to be John the Baptist rebuking the Pharisees. I do not claim to…

— Katharina Zell

I had to break up with my last girlfriend for lying about being raped by her neighbor. But I've met her neighbor,…

— Anthony Jeselnik

Humans are born, weak and helpless. We're cursed with natural predators called parents. That's why the grandma was created. To protect us.…

— Christopher Titus

It’s crazy. Since there have been men and women, there have been funny women... f**king idiot-ass men keep saying that women aren't…

— Andy Samberg

Learn the words of wisdom uttered by the wise and apply them in your own life. Live them - but do not…

— Anonymous

Faith may be defined briefly as an illogical belief in the occurrence of the improbable… A man full of faith is simply…

— Anonymous

My job to make sure that thing is kick-ass - takes the mold, jumps on it, throws glitter all over it, smashes…

— Daniel Radcliffe

You've no idea how wonderful toilet paper is until it's taken away from you by an unfeeling universe. I think it's the…

— Peter F. Hamilton

Can you imagine a 6 year old banging all day on a drum kit. I do have photos of me in my…

— Jill Sobule

I smoke so much weed that you wouldn't believe and I get more ass then a toilet seat.

— Nate Dogg

As my late mother famously observed, the one thing to be said for growing old is that every year there are a…

— Lawrence Block

I don't know about you, but I love showing my ass to a crew of 300 that I've been working with.

— Anna Faris

I want real loyalty. I want someone who will kiss my ass in Macy's window, and say it smells like roses.

— Lyndon B. Johnson

“Oh, we're playing nice now? Shall we have tea first? Brew up a nice pot of kiss-my-ass?”

— Julie Kagawa

We probaly in hell already, our dumb asses not knowin, everybody kissin ass to go to heaven aint goin.

— Tupac Shakur

I smoke so much. Three packs a day... I went to the bathroom, a camel came out of my ass.

— Dave Attell

I'm going to help the committee regardless of any position I have. I will volunteer to be a summer intern.

— Trey Gowdy

Damn it all, you have been given a life on this beautiful planet! Get off your ass and do something!

— Nick Offerman

Only eliminating all pains in the ass the real mild and gentle man can live in peace.

— William C. Brown

Honestly when you do it black and white, you really have to work your ass off. Because if you make it, make…

— Rie Rasmussen

I had no administrative function at the New Yorker. I am what we used to call in construction back in Kansas City…

— Kevin Sessums

You can never look that tough in glasses. ... You never see somebody push up their glasses and say, "I'm gonna kick…

— Jim Gaffigan

If it is wisdom you're after, you're going to spend a lot of time on your ass reading.

— Charlie Munger

Love with your mouth shut, help without breaking your ass or publicizing it: keep cool, but care.

— Thomas Pynchon

Ladies and gentlemen, I don't know whether you fully understand that I have just been shot, but it takes more than that…

— Theodore Roosevelt

I don't know where there can be so many pianists as in Paris, so many asses and so many virtuosi.

— Frederic Chopin

So my reaction to hearing this corny-ass, horrible song ["With Arms Wide Open" by Creed] is violent, uncontrollable, sustained weeping.

— Michael Ian Black

If you touch me, I said pleasantly, "I'll provide you with the ability to see if you can heal yourself. Then we'd…

— Richelle Mead

I'm so excited that my label Rocker Records has partnered with Cleopatra Records to put out this collection of RARE and UNIQUE…

— Carmine Appice

Once you start making money, you can be an ass. But I am not an ass. I'm too lazy, that takes a…

— Wanda Sykes

I try not to think about marks, the first place or gold medal. The most important thing is to show what you…

— Evgeni Plushenko

I love the John Glenn model... I may call NASA in 25 years or so, and see if they'd like to send…

— Sally Ride