Honey, you're getting Adele. - How I told my Girl friend she's getting fat. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce. — Nikhil Saluja Funny Copy Share Image
Well son, your mother and I met on Twitter, then later we... NO DON'T LOOK AT HER AVI — Nikhil Saluja Mother Copy Share Image
Admit it, once in your life, youve tried to guess someones password & .. you failed. — Nikhil Saluja Life Copy Share Image
Nothing boosts my ego like seeing someone steal my tweet. Please continue doing that. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I'm happy I didn't belong to generation when people used gun powder to grow guns. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
History is full of strong, imposing women. Well, my internet history is anyway. — Nikhil Saluja History Copy Share Image
WIFE, The one person who in an argument, if you win -- you lose; — Nikhil Saluja Argument Copy Share Image
If she didn't reply to any of your 20 texts, she probably doesn't have good cell service. Definitely don't stop texting her. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Lazy rule: If opportunity doesn't knock on the door today, lay down and wait for him to pass by the next day. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Broken hearts, love's deceit, pieces fall down to my feet. Broken promises, love's a lie, puddles form from the tears I cry. — Nikhil Saluja Broken hearts Copy Share Image
Twitter is like life. Sometimes, you have to pretend like you care about some people. — Nikhil Saluja Life Copy Share Image
When you have a bunch of cash in your wallet, you'll buy anything. But the last 10$ can last an entire week.. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When a woman tells me they're Gods gift to men, I say bullshit, the wooden back scratcher is! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Failure doesnt mean you have been disgraced¦¦ it does mean you were willing to try! — Nikhil Saluja Failure Copy Share Image
Friends we can't all be amazing and talented at the same time. I mean, except me. — Nikhil Saluja Friends Copy Share Image
Men with pierced ears are better prepared for marriage. They have both experienced pain and bought jewelry! — Nikhil Saluja Marriage Copy Share Image
I have the entire dictionary written on my dick. In case you Want me to put some words in your mouth. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I love when people do that thing where their upper lip touches their lower lip. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Diplomat: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip. — Nikhil Saluja Diplomacy Copy Share Image
70% of the gay population was born that way; the other 30% were just sucked in! — Nikhil Saluja Homosexuality Copy Share Image
SOCIALISM: You have two cows. You keep one and give one to your neighbor. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
In a parallel universe, I'm on a shitty website writing about myself in a parallel universe. — Nikhil Saluja Parallel universe Copy Share Image
I don't wanna discuss about it - People who want to discuss about it. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
We ignore the ones who adore us, adore the ones who ignore us, love the ones who hurt us & hurt the… — Nikhil Saluja Love Copy Share Image
It's all about perspective. The sinking of the Titanic was a miracle to the lobsters in the ship's kitchen. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I love how the 140 character limit on twitter forces girls to get to the damn point. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
No no sweetie, I don't hate you. I just want to fist bump your chin a few times. — Nikhil Saluja Fist Copy Share Image
Maturity is the ability to control anger and settle differences without violence or destruction. — Nikhil Saluja Aging Copy Share Image
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down. — Nikhil Saluja Books Copy Share Image
The impact of the word SALE on a female's brain is similar to what the word BOOBS has on a male's brain.… — Nikhil Saluja Feminism Copy Share Image
I only bang chicks with a masters degree or higher. Why you ask? Cause I'm fucking genius. — Nikhil Saluja Genius Copy Share Image
Amazing Home Remedies: If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw that you cared, and I wanted to be everything that I could be. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Whenever I see a Caution: slippery when wet sign I hide it somewhere, then I sit down & enjoy the show. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
Parents shouldn't tell their kids to dream big if they're stupid. Don't give them false hope. — Nikhil Saluja Child Copy Share Image
Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: 'You stay here; I'll go… — Nikhil Saluja Funny Copy Share Image
