“Success, if I simply gave it to you, you wouldn’t have the pleasure of taking it.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I hope you don’t mind, but I took the liberty of taking away your freedoms. –Uncle Sam ” — Jarod Kintz Freedom Copy Share Image
“I've always been one to share things. Particularly things like responsibility and blame.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“It’s a fact that when it comes to dating, men are all visual. Well, except blind men.” — Jarod Kintz Blind Copy Share Image
“I once got attacked by a bearskin rug, two days before it was a rug.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I always leave the toilet seat up. It’s just easier to wash my hair that way.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“To show you how much I love you, I’d take you to the moon and back. Or try to fake it in… — Jarod Kintz Love Copy Share Image
“Me mating with a midget is like a skyscraper having sex with a cathedral. But still I’d like to try. Just not… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used in a manner most secret. But Shh! I can't tell you. What part about secret don't you… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I like wearing earth tones, and ties with little shovels stitched on. I stitched them on myself.” — Jarod Kintz Fashion Copy Share Image
“If love had a pulse, like a heartbeat, would you find yourself oscillating like an isosceles triangle at the righteousness of a… — Jarod Kintz Justice Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to better improve relations with your relatives. But if you’re going to play quarterback, you’d better be… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I haven’t spent my time trying to duplicate my success. But only because I haven’t had any yet.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I killed him, but that doesn’t mean I enjoyed every second of every month of the torture process.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Grandpa always used to make me ride in the bed of his pickup truck, so he could keep up his conversations with… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“If I were alone with my clone, and we were enjoying each others' solitude, I'd have finally have met a man with… — Jarod Kintz Clone Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used as a hammer, which frees up the hammer to be used as a sex toy. The only… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I collect things that collect dust. Like dust jackets. Despite no fingerprints in the dust on these books, most of the dust… — Jarod Kintz Writer Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used as a medallion on the end of a necklace, much like human testicles aren’t used. It’s a… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Factor in the fact that factories should only hire people they make themselves, I believe, and you can see why I want… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I don’t care if you live by the motto: let the chips fall where they may, but don’t you dare spill the… — Jarod Kintz Dance Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used measure the volume of love in any given bathtub. But for the test to be accurate, I’m… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be broken—shattered—and then given as a gift, a jigsaw puzzle. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I have the heart of a lion, and the circulatory system of a lamb.” — Jarod Kintz Circulatory system Copy Share Image
“I’m for a big government. A big government contraction.” — Jarod Kintz Big government Copy Share Image
“When I wear my wedding ring I think of her. I also think of my wife.” — Jarod Kintz Marriage Copy Share Image
“Nonstop sunny days would be boring. We need the gloom to highlight the highs.” — Jarod Kintz Gloom Copy Share Image
“My knowledge is mine to use as I see fit. But I’m way too out of shape to see fit.” — Jarod Kintz Knowledge Copy Share Image
Whether you live to be 50 or 100 makes no difference, if you made no difference in the world. — Jarod Kintz Difference Copy Share Image
“In high school I attended a magnet school—for refrigerators.” — Jarod Kintz Education Copy Share Image
“He said he thinks he’s God, and I said, In that case, I’m an atheist.” — Jarod Kintz Atheist Copy Share Image
“I don’t just want to be the best in my field, I also want to be the greenest.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I like the way I look, but I don’t like the way my mirror presents me. It’s biased.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
