Money couldn't buy you friends, but you get a better class of enemy. — Spike Milligan Copy Share Image
A man once asked to shake hands with me, the "greatest Englishman who ever lived." I replied, "F**k off, I'm Irish." — Spike Milligan Copy Share Image
Never return to a doctor whose office plants have died. After five days in hospital, I took a turn for the nurse. — Spike Milligan Copy Share Image
The Grand Old Duke of York He had ten thousand men. His case comes up next week. — Spike Milligan Copy Share Image
“Professor Milligan will now play his tree! The composition is in A Minor, the tree is in A garden.” — Spike Milligan Copy Share Image
Aristocrats have heirs; the poor have children; the rest keep dogs. — Spike Milligan Copy Share Image
“My sister Laura's bigger than me And lifts me up quite easily. I can't lift her, I've tried and tried; She must have something… — Spike Milligan Copy Share
Said Hamlet to Ophelia, I'll draw a sketch of thee. What kind of pencil shall I use? 2B or not 2B? — Spike Milligan Copy Share
To Harry Secombe: I hope you die first as I don't want you singing at my funeral. — Spike Milligan Copy Share
May 8th 1943. Deluge. The rain not only fell mainly on the plain in Spain; it also fell mainly on the back of the… — Spike Milligan Copy Share
The experience of being in the Army changed my whole life; I never believed that an organization such as ours could ever go to… — Spike Milligan Copy Share
“The die was cast. It was a proud day for the Milligan family as I was taken from the house. "I'm too young to… — Spike Milligan Copy Share
Never return to a doctor whose office plants have died. After five days in hospital, I took a turn for the nurse. — Spike Milligan Copy Share
If a robin redbreast in a cage Puts all heaven in a rage, How feels heaven when Dies the billionth battery hen? — Spike Milligan Copy Share
