Funny Quotes · Page 437

Don't know much about history Don't know much biology.

— Sam Cooke

God has an inordinate fondness for beetles.

— John B. S. Haldane

To what do I owe the pleasure?

— Magnus

Speech is the gift of all, but the thought of few.

— Cato the Elder

Live in fragments no longer. Only connect...

— Anonymous

I want to be ripped apart by music...

— Jeff Buckley

I can't stop thinking like this.

— Steven Wright

I would probably never have learned to cook.

— Elizabeth David

Long time ago I used to have a life, until someone told me to create a Facebook account.

— Anonymous

Can we go back to using Facebook for what it was originally for - looking up exes to see how fat they…

— Bill Maher

He who has never learned to obey cannot be a good commander.

— Aristotle

Discipline - Success doesn't just happen. You have to be intentional about it, and that takes discipline.

— John C. Maxwell

What we may think is funny or cute may end up being powerfully hurtful.

— Barack Obama

If you can’t manage the future, you don’t have a future.

— Garrison Wynn

You'll never know a person's true strength until you try to steal their blanket in the middle of the night.

— Anurag Prakash Ray

Behind every great woman, there is a guy looking at her ass.

— Obey Terell x

Some years ago - never mind how long precisely - having little or no money in my purse, and nothing particular to…

— Herman Melville

Cory Monteith was a great guy; Funny, deep, thoughtful, and hardworking. In real life, he was the coolest dude, generous, and a…

— Mike O'Malley

35 is a very attractive age. London society is full of women of the very highest birth who have, of their own…

— Oscar Wilde

I wasn't close to my father, but I wanted to be all my life. He had a funny sense of humor, and…

— Judy Garland

It's funny that black men, at first, were worried about a show called 'Girlfriends' because they thought that black men were gonna…

— Mara Brock Akil

Ah, Miss, hope is an excellent thing for such as has the spirits to bear it!" said Mrs Wickam, shaking her head.…

— Charles Dickens

My granddaughter wanted a Cinderella theme party, so I invited all her friends over and made them clean my house!

— Green Monk

I would love to do a movie with Albert Brooks; we're so different, but I find him so funny, and I can…

— Chevy Chase

All consciousness is consciousness of something

— Edmund Husserl

Place principle above all else.

— Haile Selassie

You're in charge but don't touch the controls.

— Shannon Lucid

I have a woman's instinct and it's always a good one.

— Princess Diana

I wrote about what I was going through at the time.

— Avril Lavigne

He treats me like the dirt under my feet.

— Samuel Goldwyn

If there's one thing I really love... it's sad music.

— Danny Elfman

I don't think I'll ever act again.

— Sean Connery

When you stop fighting, that's death.

— John Wayne

Don't disturb me, I am disturbed enough already

— Hussein Nishah

To me, the thing that is worse than death is betrayal.

— Malcolm X

I will never give in to old age until I become old.

— Tina Turner

And he's lost both right front tires.

— Murray Walker

I was going to make a gay joke...butt f*ck it...

— Anonymous

Ozzie Smith is out there roaming around like glass.

— Jerry Coleman

“If you fall, I'll be the there”

— Floor