I hate when I'm set on running a yellow light and the person in front of me chickens out. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You ever love somebody so much You can barely breathe When you’re with them — Eminem Copy Share Image
If you improve 1% a day, then in 100 days, guess what? You're 100% better. — Ken Carter Copy Share Image
To those who know and love me I wish you well. All the rest may go to hell — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I got drunk in Canada. I was there for 2 days but I was drunk there for 4 days. I don't know… — Adam Carolla Copy Share Image
CORPORATE You have two cows. You sell one, force the other to produce the milk of four cows, then act surprised when… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Opening your cabinet, seeing there's no snacks! Opening Refrigerator nothing there either Then right after that, you go back to the cabinet… — Hugo Campos Copy Share Image
I used to be the class clown. I was the funny kid. That's why it was so hard for people to understand… — Chance The Rapper Copy Share Image
“Just don't go running after a beautiful white horse or a pretty-faced young man and you'll be fine.' 'And stay out of… — Sarah J. Maas Copy Share Image
I was like, what the hell is my life coming to? I'm a trained actor! I've done Shakespeare and here I am… — Matthew Lillard Copy Share Image
I make myself a bowl of instant oatmeal, and then I don't do anything for an hour. Why do I need the… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
I'm sure all parents think their kids are funny, and I'm sure a lot of kids are, whether their parents are comics… — Julia Davis Copy Share Image
