He writes so well he makes me feel like putting my quill back in my goose. — Fred Allen Copy Share Image
He has no idea what it was like to grow up in the South, where you had to hold your head down. — Fred Allen Copy Share Image
The first time I sang in the church choir; two hundred people changed their religion. — Fred Allen Copy Share Image
I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me. — Fred Allen Copy Share Image
The S.S. Sierra was a ten-thousand-ton vessel. Today, lifeboats bigger than the Sierra are found on the Queen Mary and other luxury… — Fred Allen Copy Share Image
Success is like dealing with your kid or teaching your wife to drive. Sooner or later you'll end up in the police… — Fred Allen Copy Share Image
The American arrives in Paris with a few French phrases he has culled from a conversational guide or picked up from a… — Fred Allen Copy Share Image
A molehill man is a pseudo-busy executive who comes to work at 9 AM and finds a molehill on his desk. He… — Fred Allen Copy Share Image
The last time I saw him he was walking down lover's lane holding his own hand. — Fred Allen Copy Share Image
“I can't understand why a person will take a year or two to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a… — Fred Allen Copy Share
“(Faces are all important. Without faces it would be impossible to identify our friends. If we had to recognize people by their bodies, we… — Fred Allen Copy Share
I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me. Fred Allen — Fred Allen Copy Share
I'm a little hoarse tonight. I've been living in Chicago for the past two months, and you know how it is, yelling for help… — Fred Allen Copy Share
Her hat is a creation that will never go out of style; it will just look ridiculous year after year. — Fred Allen Copy Share
When a radio comedian's program is finally finished it slinks down Memory Lane into the limbo of yesteryear's happy hours. All that the comedian… — Fred Allen Copy Share
Life, in my estimation, is a biological misadventure that we terminate on the shoulders of six strange men whose only objective is to make… — Fred Allen Copy Share
