I dream of a better world where chickens can cross the road without their motives being questioned. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Turning 32 years old is significant, because at 32 you can sleep with someone half your age and not go to jail — Anonymous Copy Share Image
One thing I've always wanted to do…slid down one the bowling alleylanes c: It seems like so much fun! c; — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That rejected feeling you get when you hold a baby and it starts to cry. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
How did you get that scar? Well I was all like COME AT ME BRO... and he did... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Me: Okay, when I get home I'm getting all my homework done, cleaning my room, and going to bed early. Facebook: lol..no. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It feels like a mini heart attack when I don't find my mobile in my pocket & It's almost like heart fail… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Doing nothing is impossible. Youre always breathing. When youre dead youre being dead. Then when I answer the phone and someone asks… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Of course, it's very easy to be witty tomorrow, after you get a chance to do some research and rehearse your ad… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Being on birth control means I can stop worrying about an unplanned pregnancy and focus entirely on worrying about achieving an orgasm. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I stepped on my new phone and heard a crack !! Immediately I started praying God please ! It should be my… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Hey, I just met you. And this crazy. But here's my number. So call me maybe? Admit it, you didn't just read… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Someone who is always there for you? -Joseph. He's always right but Inever listen. I know exactly whoto go to when I… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Women only have trouble parking because we are constantly lied to about what 8 inches is. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I always dream of being a millionaire like my uncle!... He's dreaming too. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I can't stand people that don't know the difference between 'your' and 'you're.' Their so stupid... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The rest asked for one more cup each,in reply to which they were adviced to manage with their saliva — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Dear slut, this may come as a surprise to you but your boobs go INSIDE your shirt. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You know you're best friends when you're in the bathroom arguing over who gets the big stall. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I would like to be on the list of suspects during your next pregnancy scare. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Someone introduce me to whoever invented Mornings. I will beat the shit out of them. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A genius sometimes can not answer a simple question asked by a stupid person. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If you want a high performance woman, I can go from zero to b**** in less than 2.1 seconds. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Don't touch MY iPhone. It's not an usPhone, a wePhone or an ourPhone it's an iPhone! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
History always tells a story... That's why you must always clear it before your dad uses the computer! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
And a tear rolled down her cheek, as she said goodbye; because she's walking away, and she's never looking back — Anonymous Copy Share
You'll seldom experience regret for anything that you've done. It is what you haven't done that will torment you. The message, therefore, is clear.… — Anonymous Copy Share
Scrabble - The game is available in Braille. That’s a nice fact. This makes me feel better about humanity for some reason. I can’t… — Anonymous Copy Share
“THIS tale of my sore-troubled life I write, To thank the God of nature, who conveyed My soul to me, and with such care… — Anonymous Copy Share
Put on my J's and dance the whole night away Im naughty by nature like Im hip-hop hooray With my hands in the sky,… — Anonymous Copy Share
Me.. I have been through a lot, but I still manage to have a smile on my face. Im not worried about the past… — Anonymous Copy Share
Distance is a test of love. many will fail for those who can't withstand it, but for those who can, theres only one answer… — Anonymous Copy Share
The only person I've ever purposely caused pain here is myself...By simply sharing, caring too much. — Anonymous Copy Share
The truth is, of course, that the curtness of the Ten Commandments is an evidence, not of the gloom and narrowness of a religion,… — Anonymous Copy Share
