Adulthood is just piles of bills and trying to convince your exes how amazing youre life is. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Sending a risky text & thinkingoh god, they hate me, if they don't respond within 30 seconds. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Dude I have something really funny to tell you!� *Adult walks into room* ..I'll tell you in a minute� — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Downton Abbey has taught me there was a time when British healthcare was just as horrifying as ours. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If you appreciate her, love her, and respect her, I can guarentee you won't lose her. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I admire your use of the Food Network as a distraction from your eating disorder. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You must be a special kind of stupid to think acting like a jerk is attractive to girls. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Dear alcohol, We had a deal where you would make me funnier, smarter, and a better dancer... I saw the video... we… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Its funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged. Its like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Today's heat has me more hot and bothered than a lonely housewife reading Fifty Shades of Grey at a Magic Mike screening. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I need more people to play Draw Something with, so add Jazzimini if you would like to play with me(: Lol, I… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When I hear tapping outside my window. I don't think it's my prince to come kiss me. I think its a serial… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I like wearing big sweaters. Not cause they're all comfy, but when the sleeves are really big I get to flop them… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Dear Mom, thanks for not answering the phone. I could be locked in some rapist's basementfor all you know. Thanks, nice to… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
They say guns don't kill people, people kill people. Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG,… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I don't think most of my coworkers would be that much different if they became actual zombies. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Greetings, I have recently become acquainted with you, So here are my digits, So call me perhaps? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I hope your kids cope with the divorce well enough to serve as a prop to help get you laid. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A friend is like a good bra: close to your heart, hard to find, and supportive. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I saw a spider in my bathtub, so I got a piece of tissue and very carefully…burned the house down. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I do like the way twitter marks all sex offenders with little blue ticks. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That Beautiful moment When a guy stretches so far , you can see his abbs and boxers. . — Anonymous Copy Share Image
No one is normal. There are just a lot of weird people with things in common. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Friendship Day is the perfect time to not reflect on the friends I've methodically erased from my life. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Let's all admit we all pick the Dorito that looks like it has the most flavor on it. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The feeling when you tell someone your going to bed but your not and you want to post something on facebook lol — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Its funny when you always talk a lot about studying , but always ending up cheating ! the heck. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Open your eyes, close your mouth; See the flies, froze your laugh, cuz you now in dustbin — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm not a bad student, my study breaks are just longer than my study time! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I think I'm addicted to Twitter. Ive starting losing interest in convos that go over 140 characters. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Happy Memorial Day to someone who would stab himself in the leg to avoid military service. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Sometimes I make my life a living hell by writing complex stories with complex characters. But I love it. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Happy Memorial Day to someone who gets post-traumatic stress from watching Saving Private Ryan in HD. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
And a tear rolled down her cheek, as she said goodbye; because she's walking away, and she's never looking back — Anonymous Copy Share
You'll seldom experience regret for anything that you've done. It is what you haven't done that will torment you. The message, therefore, is clear.… — Anonymous Copy Share
Scrabble - The game is available in Braille. That’s a nice fact. This makes me feel better about humanity for some reason. I can’t… — Anonymous Copy Share
“THIS tale of my sore-troubled life I write, To thank the God of nature, who conveyed My soul to me, and with such care… — Anonymous Copy Share
Put on my J's and dance the whole night away Im naughty by nature like Im hip-hop hooray With my hands in the sky,… — Anonymous Copy Share
Me.. I have been through a lot, but I still manage to have a smile on my face. Im not worried about the past… — Anonymous Copy Share
Distance is a test of love. many will fail for those who can't withstand it, but for those who can, theres only one answer… — Anonymous Copy Share
The only person I've ever purposely caused pain here is myself...By simply sharing, caring too much. — Anonymous Copy Share
The truth is, of course, that the curtness of the Ten Commandments is an evidence, not of the gloom and narrowness of a religion,… — Anonymous Copy Share
