Funny Quotes by Anonymous · Page 46

The sooner I never see you again, the better it'll be for both of us when we meet.

— Anonymous

If someone asks you to do something for them, do it bad, so they'll never ask you to do it again

— Anonymous

Thanks to all my friends this wedding season for being too immature or undateable to get married.

— Anonymous

When I was younger I rememberwatching two drops of rain roll down window and pretending it was a race.

— Anonymous

Walking around the kitchen likePac-Man when your hungry.

— Anonymous

I'd rather steal Lady Gaga's creativity without having to go near her vagina

— Anonymous

Taking 'naps' sounds so childish...I prefer to call them 'horizontal life pauses.'

— Anonymous

I want you to know that whatever problems you're having, I'm here to read about it on Facebook.

— Anonymous

Why do famous people think that they can only date other famous people? They're limiting their chance to find a soul mate,…

— Anonymous

Sorry, I cant hangout. My uncles cousins sister in laws best friends insurance agents roommates pet goldfish died; maybe next time.

— Anonymous

They're Twin-like," Shaunee said. "Hilarious," Erin agreed. "Shut up!" Aphrodite and Stevie Rae said together, which made the Twins convulse into laughter.

— Anonymous

Happy Mother's Day to someone who doesn't care if I marry a man or a woman as long as I give you…

— Anonymous

Asdfghjkl;. crying. my mom said she's considering buying the Sapphire VIP package for the BELIEVE tour. oh my god. I have too…

— Anonymous

Here's to the ones who know me, the dumb asses who lost me, the lucky ones who get to meet me and…

— Anonymous

I hope my unrelenting excitement over Magic Mike doesn't make you feel like you've failed to fulfill all of my sexual desires.

— Anonymous

Men: If you are a person of faith Sunday morning is a great time to get in touch with God and just…

— Anonymous

If I have ever said anything to insult you, please let me know, I might wanna say it again!

— Anonymous

Everybody knows somebody who's Facebook relationship status should be 'Still banging my ex.'

— Anonymous

Thank you; we're all challenged by your unique point of view.

— Anonymous

I wish summer and the length of your shorts were longer.

— Anonymous

Long time ago I used to have a life, until someone told me to create a Facebook account.

— Anonymous

Thanks for helping me learn from your mistakes with men.

— Anonymous

Is she hot?- A guy's reply to any story that starts with This girl I know..

— Anonymous

Congratulations on not making enough money to be considered for layoffs.

— Anonymous

Dad, thanks for teaching me how to ride a bike without the use of performance-enhancing drugs.

— Anonymous

That awkward little half runningwalk thing you do when a car lets you cross the road.

— Anonymous

Someone asked me what book I read of the summer. I replied with, "Facebook."

— Anonymous

It doesn't need to be Boss's Day for me to pretend I respect you.

— Anonymous

Why is ''W'' called a double-u if it's two Vs put together ?

— Anonymous

I'm going to stand outside, so if anyone asks I'm outstanding.

— Anonymous

The best things in life are free. The rest are too expensive.

— Anonymous

My pillow is my best hair styler, every morning I wake up with a new hair style.

— Anonymous

The sad moment when you return to your ordinary life after watching an awesome movie!..

— Anonymous

If you know the difference between your and you're we canbe friends. c:

— Anonymous

I'm actually not funny. I'm just really mean and people think I'm joking.

— Anonymous

When a couple is arguing over who loves who more, the one that gives up is the real winner.

— Anonymous

The ideal women does exist, but she is always married to another man.

— Anonymous

I'd rather have an enemy that slaps me in the face than a friend that stabs me in the back.

— Anonymous

A friend is someone who will help you move. A real friend is someone who will help you move a body.

— Anonymous

I hate two words unless you put them together don't and stop

— Anonymous