Saying something funny and then someone says it louder and gets all the credit. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Standing Up: Wow! I'm actually kinda skinny! Sitting Down: Okay maybe not.. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I asked my boyfriend if he already knows what he's going to be for Halloween. He replied: "Single." — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It would be funny, to throw a party with fake booze and see how many people act wasted.. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You said it was a long story, but you told me and it took about 10 seconds. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Substitute teacher: 'Does your normal teacher let you do that?' Students: 'Yeah...' — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Spongebob: Remember Patrick, flatter the customer. Make him feel good. *Guy opens the door* Patrick: I love you. ~Noelle¥ — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When you're having the best dream ever and wake up, does anyone else ever try to fall back asleep to finish the… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If couples who are in love are called 'love birds', then couples who always argue should be called 'angry birds.' — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Valentines Day Drinks: $80. Dinner: $75. The room: $250. The look on his face when she says Im on my period: Priceless. :) — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When you put your leg out of your blanket because your hot, and then getting scared because you feel exposed to monsters. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If you drink too much alcohol you are an alcoholic. If you drink too much Fanta, does that make you Fantastic? -A — Anonymous Copy Share Image
We'll be perfect roommates as long as you never touch anything of mine and leave the second my friends come over. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When you see a movie you haven't seen in years, and suddenly it all makes sense, because you were originally too young… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the fire department generally uses water. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I can't wait to spend Monday doing nothing on a beach instead of doing nothing at work. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Let's make this a special Father's Day by getting together to violently root against the Miami Heat. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Classmate after a final: 'So how'd you do?' Me: 'Nailed it or failed it.' — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If you're ridin' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take them while driving. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Cop: Ma'am, could you please step out of the car? Me: I'm kinda drunk, why don't you just get in. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Im Kail, I was given a girls name when I was a baby because my parents are idiots. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You're so pretty! Hell yeah I am, that's why I've been single this whole time — Anonymous Copy Share Image
May this be the year people stop mistaking your most talented citizens for Americans. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
EVERYONE SHUT THE HELL UP!!! * Answers phone* Hey mom.. (background) NO I WILLNOT PUT MY PANTS ON!!!! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Nothing makes me want a relationship to fail more than matching profile pictures. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Am I the only one Who will spend 20 minutes trying to get my messy bun perfect? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
And a tear rolled down her cheek, as she said goodbye; because she's walking away, and she's never looking back — Anonymous Copy Share
You'll seldom experience regret for anything that you've done. It is what you haven't done that will torment you. The message, therefore, is clear.… — Anonymous Copy Share
Scrabble - The game is available in Braille. That’s a nice fact. This makes me feel better about humanity for some reason. I can’t… — Anonymous Copy Share
“THIS tale of my sore-troubled life I write, To thank the God of nature, who conveyed My soul to me, and with such care… — Anonymous Copy Share
Put on my J's and dance the whole night away Im naughty by nature like Im hip-hop hooray With my hands in the sky,… — Anonymous Copy Share
Me.. I have been through a lot, but I still manage to have a smile on my face. Im not worried about the past… — Anonymous Copy Share
Distance is a test of love. many will fail for those who can't withstand it, but for those who can, theres only one answer… — Anonymous Copy Share
The only person I've ever purposely caused pain here is myself...By simply sharing, caring too much. — Anonymous Copy Share
The truth is, of course, that the curtness of the Ten Commandments is an evidence, not of the gloom and narrowness of a religion,… — Anonymous Copy Share
