Funny Quotes by Anonymous · Page 42

Cats have nine lives. Which makes them ideal for experimentation.

— Anonymous

Jersey Shore reminds me LeBron wasn't the first over-publicized douchebag in Miami.

— Anonymous

Roses are red, violets are fine, I'll be the 6 you be the 9.

— Anonymous

Hey you ve been living in my heart but you havent paid your rent.

— Anonymous

I was going to give you a nasty look, but I see you already have one.

— Anonymous

Funny how I have answers to all questions but realized that some are actually wrong.

— Anonymous

Fun prank idea: Replace all of the songs on someone's iPod with the Kid Bop versions

— Anonymous

Admit it, you should be doing something else really important right now but you're on Twitter instead

— Anonymous

U think I'm jealous of u??? Well yes I am coz if I would b a boy I could have never gotta…

— Anonymous

It is a blessed thing that in every age someone has had the individuality enough and courage enough to stand by his…

— Anonymous

You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy,…

— Anonymous

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in…

— Anonymous

It's hilarious when school textbooks try too hard at being racially diverse. 'Brad, Latisha, Pablo and Kwan were doing a math problem...'

— Anonymous

Hey, remember when you had acrush on _____ Wait. What. Pshh. No. That never happened. Why would you think that? Of course not.

— Anonymous

I love Halloween, it's the only night of the year I may end up getting drunk with Spider-Man and going home with…

— Anonymous

When I was a boy, my mother wore a mood ring. When she was in a good mood it turned blue. In…

— Anonymous

I just wanna be rich enough to have Morgan Freeman read me bedtime stories.

— Anonymous

Pushing the stop button on your microwave before it goes off so you don't have to hear the beep.

— Anonymous

Thanks for always telling me which emerging buzz bands to have in my iPod.

— Anonymous

I never see a tombstone that said, died from not forwarding to ten people

— Anonymous

The secret to staying young is to eat slowly, live honestly, and lie about your age.

— Anonymous

I can't be around depressed people, I laugh when people cry. I don't mean to I just find it funny.

— Anonymous

I am Looking for a Bank which can Give me a loan, and leave me alone!

— Anonymous

I fully support any couple's right to have a 50% chance of getting divorced.

— Anonymous

If you were a dinosaur, you'd be a Bitch-A-Whoreous-Rex.

— Anonymous

I'm not an alcoholic, alcoholics go to meetings. I'm a drunk, we go to parties.

— Anonymous

Mom, thanks for teaching me about boundaries by never observing any.

— Anonymous

Failure is not an optionit comes bundled with the software.

— Anonymous

It's funny cause, you think you're the shit. You're not. You're shit.

— Anonymous

When life gives you a lemon, you say "Oh, yeah, I love lemons, what else have you got?"

— Anonymous

Dear google, could you sit next to me during an exam? Sincerely, every student.

— Anonymous

They said the world is going to end this year...Pssh They can barely predict the weather.

— Anonymous

After reading the 'Zux' Fanfic made me cry... Why Did That Directioner EvenWrite that NASTY Thing

— Anonymous

If you are S.e.x.y and you know it then clap your hands and sit down coz you're not.

— Anonymous

Hugs can be really awkward when you aren't really sure where to put your arms.

— Anonymous

I'm really looking forward to the non-existent wedding you're planning on Pinterest.

— Anonymous

We're gonna stay up all night!FUCK YEAH! 2 hours later..Dude, I'm tired

— Anonymous

Generally, the path of least resistance appeals. Also, I am superb at parallel parking.

— Anonymous

The awkward moment when you realize you still count on your fingers.

— Anonymous

The walk of shame at the store when you have to put somethingback because your mom saysno

— Anonymous