Faster Quote by Steven Wright

“Officer, I know I was going faster than 55MPH, but I wasn't going to be on the road an hour.”

Steven Wright

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Faster Hours Officers

More by Steven Wright

Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

Steven Wright

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My dental hygienist is cute. Every time I visit, I eat a whole package of Oreo cookies while waiting in the lobby. Sometimes she…

Steven Wright

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If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked,…

Steven Wright

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If I ever had twins, I'd use one for parts.

Steven Wright

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Nobody can really compare a relationship in which the victim is 15 years old to one where she's 6. While both criminal, they're very different circumstances.

Steven Wright

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I saw a tree fall in the woods, and I didn't hear it.

Steven Wright

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It's very intense to be in front of a live audience. It's just an amazing experience. It's dangerous. Everything out there is heightened. The…

Steven Wright

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I got pulled over by a cop, and he said, 'do you know the speed limit here is 55 miles per hour?'. So I…

Steven Wright

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Babies don't need a vacation, but I still see them at the beach... it pisses me off! I'll go over to a little baby…

Steven Wright

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“I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room.”

Steven Wright

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When I'm on stage, it's really intense. My mind is going a million miles an hour, trying to remember my act, trying to say…

Steven Wright

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I don't like politicians, and I don't like politics. I definitely don't want to be associated with any of them.

Steven Wright

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Explore all 564 Steven Wright quotes

More Faster quotes

The faster you go, the shorter you are.

Albert Einstein

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I've seen guys come along with more ability - they've been faster or bigger or stronger - but they never worked hard to develop…

Steve Largent

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The average condition of the people improving or deteriorating, depends upon whether population is advancing faster than improvement, or improvement than population.

John Stuart Mill

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Spirituality does not have to be serious. You are spirituality. Fun laughter heal you faster than anything. Introduce fun back into your life.

Anita Moorjani

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As for the piano, the faster her fingers flew over it, the more he marveled. She struck the keys with aplomb and ran from…

Gustave Flaubert

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You can tell the date of an old science fiction novel by every word on the page. Nothing dates harder and faster and more…

Neil Gaiman

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Software gets slower faster than hardware gets faster. (Or, sometimes known by] Grove [the head of Intel] giveth and Gates [the head of Microsoft]…

Niklaus Wirth

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I do remember what I said. The promise. To protect her. If I'd done that ... even if I didn't make it, you wouldn't've had to jump. I want you to know I did save you. Not when it counted, of course. But after that. Every night after that. I'd see it all again, do something different. Faster or more…

Joss Whedon

Tachyon OPC+ is a natural extension of our market-winning Tachyon platform, giving customers a clear path to minimizing the OPC error budget and producing better-performing circuits sooner and faster. Until now, customers have had to deal with a delicate balance of compromises when producing advanced OPC-enabled circuits, including trading accuracy for speed. Tachyon OPC+ breaks free from these compromises.

Bill Vaughan