Air Quote by Steven Wright

We called the Weather Bureau and found out what historically was the hottest day of the summer...So we scheduled the hearing that day, and…

— Tim Wirth

I have bad news and good news. The bad news is that it's going to drop to zero tonight. The good news is that…

— Anonymous

If it’s zero degrees outside today and it’s supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?

— Steven Wright

They've gotta stop reporting wind chill. That's nonsense. It really is. I don't know where they came up with it, why they came up…

— Lewis Black

It got up to 94 degrees today – that's pretty good at my age.

— Bob Monkhouse

Unusual weather for New York City. Today it was 68 and foggy. No, wait a minute, that's me. I'm sorry, that's me.

— David Letterman

Wind blows when its to cold

— Joy Velasquez

It's hard to be happy when you are facing 120 to 140 degree temperatures and nothing seems to be moving in a direction that…

— Janis Karpinski

It was all right until the sun came out and then everything started getting warmer.

— Jo Durie

The temp was 80 and I'm cruisin with my lady. Playin some Ralphie Vagon, ooh baby baby.

— Lil Rob

I'm not running anywhere, it's like ninety-five degrees out.

— Katherine Shindle

The Arctic is the planet's air conditioner and it's starting to break down.

— Eban Goodstein