50th birthday Quote by Steven Wright Download Open image “For my sister's 50th birthday, I sent her a singing mammogram.” — Steven Wright ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ 2.8 out of 5 (3 ratings) Copy quoteShare 50th birthday Birthday Funny Humor Mammograms My sister Singing
“My niece just turned one. I gave her a birthday card that read, "If you can read this, Happy Birthday!” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
In the eulogy by the graveside, I told everyone how my sister and I used to sing to each other on our birthday. I… — Nicholas Sparks Copy Share Image
For my 50th birthday, my cousin Helmut gave me the most profound, beautiful, and striking present. He made books out of my dad's slide… — Juergen Teller Copy Share Image
“On my birthday, every year since I turned eighteen, she called me at twelve twenty in the morning to wish me happy birthday and… — T.A. Webb Copy Share Image
The 20th anniversary of my dad David's death coincided with my 50th Test cap and for it to be my mum Janet's birthday, too,… — Jonny Bairstow Copy Share Image
“... you cow,' Estelle added. 'I heard that.' 'Give the woman the geriatric audiology medal,' Estelle said. 'I heard that, too', her mother said,… — Fiona Wood Copy Share Image
Dang it, I did it again. My mama's birthday was yesterday...Love you Ma! — Epifania Savea Copy Share Image
My mother handed me my sister and turned on the television. My sister's fingers wrapped around my earlobes, and she squeezed and made a… — Danny Goodman Copy Share Image
It's your 60th birthday! Did you hear me? Hey...'It's your 60th birthday!' Hope your year is better than those ears! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
For my birthday that year Anne gave me an inflatable atlas globe, along with a birthday card in which she wrote: I give you… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
My dental hygienist is cute. Every time I visit, I eat a whole package of Oreo cookies while waiting in the lobby. Sometimes she… — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked,… — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
Nobody can really compare a relationship in which the victim is 15 years old to one where she's 6. While both criminal, they're very different circumstances. — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
It's very intense to be in front of a live audience. It's just an amazing experience. It's dangerous. Everything out there is heightened. The… — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
I got pulled over by a cop, and he said, 'do you know the speed limit here is 55 miles per hour?'. So I… — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
Babies don't need a vacation, but I still see them at the beach... it pisses me off! I'll go over to a little baby… — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
“I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room.” — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
When I'm on stage, it's really intense. My mind is going a million miles an hour, trying to remember my act, trying to say… — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
I don't like politicians, and I don't like politics. I definitely don't want to be associated with any of them. — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
For my 50th birthday I just want to make it all make sense [being exactly half introvert], and then a couple of weeks later… — Dar Williams Copy Share Image
Nature gives you the face you have at twenty, but its up to you to merit the face you have at fifty. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
As it's your 50th birthday The very best of cheers to you Truthfully, I'm just being selfish Coz now I am so cheerful, too… — John Walter Bratton Copy Share Image
I celebrated [my 50th birthday] by throwing a big bowl on the pottery wheel, then going for a water ski at the lake on… — Marcia Gay Harden Copy Share Image
At 50, you probably get muddled? I'm the same, that's how I know? If you ever get lost, don't worry? Just change where you… — John Walter Bratton Copy Share Image
Many massacres have happened when people yell "surprise"! Pearl Harbor. The Tet Offensive. My uncle's 50th birthday party. I was there, man! How many… — Christopher Titus Copy Share Image
My faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
50 years: here's a time when you have to separate yourself from what other people expect of you, and do what you love. Because… — Jim Carrey Copy Share Image
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