Ifs Quote by Lewis Black

I think one reason people play golf is it allows them to obsess about something other than the daily crap. It takes your mind…

— Lewis Black

If you're going to vote for somebody because you think they have a great faith in God, you'd better be sure that God has…

— Lewis Black

I think that I don't panic as much as the folks on the left or the right do. I don't have that sense of…

— Lewis Black

“I don't know if you've noticed, but our two-party system is a bowl of shit looking at itself in the mirror.”

— Lewis Black

These ballot initiatives against same sex marriage remind us that America is the land where people are free to dream whatever they want, so…

— Lewis Black

If you're going to pick a book and you want to base a system of government around it, why not 'Harry Potter?'

— Lewis Black

No matter what, your parents are going to worry about you. I had a tour bus, and my mother still thought I was broke.…

— Lewis Black

I'm always amazed when I hear people saying, "That George Bush, he's a great leader". And I wonder, where can one find a drug…

— Lewis Black

I knew that I'd lived in New York too long when, a few years ago, I was on a subway going downtown, and it…

— Lewis Black

If you're seeing a psychiatrist, you're wasting money because all you've got to do is get on a plane, get on a subway tomorrow…

— Lewis Black

Well first of all, I'd just like to say that 2005 was a great year, if you like swimming through crap.

— Lewis Black

I'd like the campaigning to be about all the things they're not going to do. Just tell me what you're not going do! Don't…

— Lewis Black