If the people of New Zealand want to be part of our world, I believe they should hop off their islands, and… — Lewis Black Copy Share Image
There's a whole group of Christians who believe the individual is more important, but in the end I don't think that's what… — Lewis Black Copy Share Image
Whenever someone says they believe the earth was created in 7 days, I grab a fossil and say, Fossil. And if they… — Lewis Black Copy Share Image
I don't believe pumpkin pie is even made from pumpkin. I mean, how can something that smells that shitty make a pie… — Lewis Black Copy Share Image
I believe that summer is our time, a time for the people, and that no politician should be allowed to speak to… — Lewis Black Copy Share Image
In my lifetime, we've gone from Eisenhower to George W. Bush. We've gone from John F. Kennedy to Al Gore. If this… — Lewis Black Copy Share Image
I think inevitably over the course of my lifetime there's been an underestimation of the American people, and I believe they are… — Lewis Black Copy Share Image
If you're working out in front of a mirror and watching your muscles grow, your ego has reached a point where it… — Lewis Black Copy Share Image
I believe that every paper in the country should have one headline that when you read it, you laugh so hard you… — Lewis Black Copy Share Image
This is the thing I've never understood: If someone is going to hell for being gay or being a Jew or a… — Lewis Black Copy Share Image
I think one reason people play golf is it allows them to obsess about something other than the daily crap. It takes your mind… — Lewis Black Copy Share Image
If you're going to vote for somebody because you think they have a great faith in God, you'd better be sure that God has… — Lewis Black Copy Share Image
I think that I don't panic as much as the folks on the left or the right do. I don't have that sense of… — Lewis Black Copy Share Image
“I don't know if you've noticed, but our two-party system is a bowl of shit looking at itself in the mirror.” — Lewis Black Copy Share Image
These ballot initiatives against same sex marriage remind us that America is the land where people are free to dream whatever they want, so… — Lewis Black Copy Share Image
If you're going to pick a book and you want to base a system of government around it, why not 'Harry Potter?' — Lewis Black Copy Share Image
No matter what, your parents are going to worry about you. I had a tour bus, and my mother still thought I was broke.… — Lewis Black Copy Share Image
I'm always amazed when I hear people saying, "That George Bush, he's a great leader". And I wonder, where can one find a drug… — Lewis Black Copy Share Image
I knew that I'd lived in New York too long when, a few years ago, I was on a subway going downtown, and it… — Lewis Black Copy Share Image
If you're seeing a psychiatrist, you're wasting money because all you've got to do is get on a plane, get on a subway tomorrow… — Lewis Black Copy Share Image
Well first of all, I'd just like to say that 2005 was a great year, if you like swimming through crap. — Lewis Black Copy Share Image
I'd like the campaigning to be about all the things they're not going to do. Just tell me what you're not going do! Don't… — Lewis Black Copy Share Image
