You Quotes by Lewis Black

9 You quotes by Lewis Black

Lewis Black’s trademark sarcasm lands on the subject of “You” with nine razor‑sharp lines. Expect a blend of wit and frustration that cuts straight to the core of personal quirks, perfect for a quick laugh and a moment of reflection.

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Do you know what 'meteorologist' means in English? It means liar.

Lewis Black

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There should be a law that you can't shut down the government - that you don't have that power.

Lewis Black

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One thing I know about the rich, being rich, is that you can take money from me and tomorrow, I'm still going…

Lewis Black

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Democrats are like a big tortoise that's on its back and can't get up; you can't make jokes about that.

Lewis Black

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Democrats are dumb and Republicans are stupid, but the difference between dumb and stupid is dumb isn't funny. Dumb is when you…

Lewis Black

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Every time I use an app, part of my brain dies! We'll get to the point where we go to bed and…

Lewis Black

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If you're going to vote for somebody because you think they have a great faith in God, you'd better be sure that…

Lewis Black

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The kids say golf taught them this and that. I get it with the military: A guy joins the military because he…

Lewis Black

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It took forever for me to get work because I was a political comic, and now it's become good business, and God…

Lewis Black

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I think one reason people play golf is it allows them to obsess about something other than the daily crap. It takes your mind…

Lewis Black

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If you're going to vote for somebody because you think they have a great faith in God, you'd better be sure that God has…

Lewis Black

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I think that I don't panic as much as the folks on the left or the right do. I don't have that sense of…

Lewis Black

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“I don't know if you've noticed, but our two-party system is a bowl of shit looking at itself in the mirror.”

Lewis Black

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These ballot initiatives against same sex marriage remind us that America is the land where people are free to dream whatever they want, so…

Lewis Black

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If you're going to pick a book and you want to base a system of government around it, why not 'Harry Potter?'

Lewis Black

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No matter what, your parents are going to worry about you. I had a tour bus, and my mother still thought I was broke.…

Lewis Black

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I'm always amazed when I hear people saying, "That George Bush, he's a great leader". And I wonder, where can one find a drug…

Lewis Black

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I knew that I'd lived in New York too long when, a few years ago, I was on a subway going downtown, and it…

Lewis Black

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If you're seeing a psychiatrist, you're wasting money because all you've got to do is get on a plane, get on a subway tomorrow…

Lewis Black

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Well first of all, I'd just like to say that 2005 was a great year, if you like swimming through crap.

Lewis Black

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I'd like the campaigning to be about all the things they're not going to do. Just tell me what you're not going do! Don't…

Lewis Black

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All food is comfort food. Maybe I just like to chew.

Lewis Black

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Johnny Vassilaros is the man who has created the finest cup of coffee ever served in the city of New York.

Lewis Black

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“At seven p.m., hope is sparked again when some new chirpy airline employee announces that a new plane without that nasty mechanical problem -…

Lewis Black

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