Quote by Garrison Keillor Download Open image “The funniest line in English is 'Get it?' When you say that, everyone chortles.” — Garrison Keillor ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ 3.8 out of 5 (5 ratings) Copy quoteShare
I said I kicked a French chicken in the stomach once." "Huh?" "It said, 'Oeuf.'" "What is that?" "It's a joke. Do you want… — Jonathan Safran Foer Copy Share Image
“You asked me for a rhyme," De Vangrisse reminded him. "So I did! A rhyme for tout and fou, and you gave me chou!"… — Georgette Heyer Copy Share Image
“Ha-ha. The dumb jock who can’t talk the Queen’s English. I swear to God, the next person who corrects my grammar gets punched in… — Rick Yancey Copy Share Image
“Knowing all the languages in the world could help you to really understand all the jokes you can hear... from my future Kids' Funny… — Ivan Stoikov - Allan Bard Copy Share Image
A funny line can never exist on its own. It needs to be surrounded by mood and circumstances. — Lorrie Moore Copy Share Image
God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny. — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
The socially redeeming aspect of golf lies in the vast number of lawyers and bankers and managers who play it, and when you think… — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
Ha! Easy for nuns to talk about giving up things. That's what they do for a living. — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
This is the big reason most humorists fail. Drunks don't read books. — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
Before the world was made, when it was only darkness and mist and waters, God was well aware of Lake Wobegon, my family, our… — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
On investments, 1998: Where I'm from we don't trust paper. Wealth is what's here on the premises. If I open a cupboard and see,… — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
“The rich can afford to be progressive. Poor people have reason to be afraid of the future.” — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
English is the perfect language for preachers because it allows you to talk until you think of what to say. — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
“If you can't read a simple goddam sign and follow one simple goddam instruction then get your fat butt the hell out of here.” — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
“The Gospel is meant to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable.” — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
