Bed Quote by Emo Philips

I caught my wife in bed with another man and I was crushed. So I said, "Get off of me, you two!"

— Emo Philips

My mother-in-law broke up my marriage. My wife came home from work one day and found me in bed with her.

— Lenny Bruce

My best friend ran away with my wife, and let me tell you, I miss him.

— Henny Youngman

My last girl cheated on me with a close friend. That's two relationships, I had to watch them both end.

— 360

I discovered my wife in bed with another man, and I was crushed. So I said, 'Get off me, you two!'

— Emo Philips

I gave my wife a kiss this morning. She jumped out of bed and did a lap of honour.

— Frank Carson

I saw my wife at a pool, flipped over her, and 14 days later we were married.

— James Garner

I met my wife because we were both going out with the same guy.

— David Bowie

Best Friends. And I thought of what she had done all the millions of times I cried to her, collapsing at even the slightest…

— Sarah Dessen

My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee. Unfortunately, she was just coming home.

— Rodney Dangerfield

Then came nights when, lying awake beside my final wife, I would spend too much time putting my finger on what was wrong. I…

— Gary Lutz

I'm married to my best friend!

— Miranda Lambert