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Tells Quotes by Jack Handey
- It's probably not a good idea to be chewing on a toothpick if you're talking to the president, because what if he tells a funny…
- I think a good scene in a movie would be where one scientist tells another scientist, "You know what will save the world? You're holding…
- If doctors ever tell you that you've "flipped out," don't believe them, and just keep on doing what you were doing, because something tells me…
- Something tells me that the first mousetrap wasn't designed to catch mice at all, but to protect little cheese "gems" from burglars.
- Life, to me, is like a quiet forest pool, one that needs a direct hit from a big rock half-buried in the ground. You pull…
More Tells Quotes
- When suffering knocks at your door and you say there is no seat for him, he tells you not to worry because… — Chinua Achebe
- I think a major element of jetlag is psychological. Nobody ever tells me what time it is at home. — David Attenborough
- Well, what did we buy? Instead of a leaner, smarter government, we bought a bureaucracy that now tells us which light bulbs… — Michele Bachmann
- So long as there are earnest believers in the world, they will always wish to punish opinions, even if their judgment tells… — Walter Bagehot
- Everyone always tells you that you're the only one that can do this or that role right, and if you say no,… — Christian Bale
- A rich man told me recently that a liberal is a man who tells other people what to do with their money. — Amiri Baraka
- Don't ever, ever, believe anyone who tells you that you can just get by, by doing the easiest thing possible. Because there's… — Maria Bartiromo
- Common sense tells us that the things of the earth exist only a little, and that true reality is only in dreams. — Charles Baudelaire
- You don't argue with a four-year old about why he shouldn't eat candy for dinner. You don't punch a mentally handicapped guy… — Scott Adams
- Common sense tells us that we should focus our resources to benefit children, teachers and taxpayers by keeping dollars in the classroom. — Bob Beauprez
- Sometimes a psychic tells you something and it feels wrong and others may be right on the money. It's your choice about… — Martha Beck
- Anyone who tells a lie has not a pure heart, and cannot make a good soup. — Ludwig van Beethoven