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See Quotes by Steven Wright
- Babies don't need a vacation, but I still see them at the beach... it pisses me off! I'll go over to a little baby and…
- I was a peripheral visionary. I could see the future, but only way off to the side.
- If God dropped acid, would he see people?
- I don't go off and sit down and try to write material, because then it's contrived and forced. I just live my life, and I…
- Comedians are sociologists. We're pointing out stuff that the general public doesn't even stop to think about, looking at life in slow-motion and questioning everything…
- I'm used to seeing it, but it's weird having an Academy Award. You usually only see one of them on the TV show when they…
- What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious?
- What do you do when you see an endangered animal that eats only endangered plants?
- If Dracula can't see his reflection in a mirror, how come his hair is always so neatly combed?
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- If I were an actor I could be someone, someone who'd always know the right things to say. But as soon as… — Superman
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