Sarcasm Quotes

519 quotes by 301 authors

I intend to live forever. So far, so good. — Steven Wright
Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect. — Steven Wright
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. — Steven Wright
The United States is a nation of laws: badly written and randomly enforced. — Frank Zappa
There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life. — Frank Zappa
Mrs. Landingham, does the President have free time this morning? The President has nothing but free time, Toby. Right now he's in the residence eating… — Aaron Sorkin
A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain. — Mark Twain
My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I'm right. — Ashleigh Brilliant
This is what happened in love. One of you cried a lot and then both of you grew sarcastic. — Lorrie Moore
Those who believe in telekinetics, raise my hand. — Kurt Vonnegut
Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence. — Ashleigh Brilliant
Sarcasm, as it turned out--even when it was instinctive and quick--cut into the time one had to manufacture one's escape. — Mel Odom
Many wealthy people are little more than janitors of their possessions. — Frank Lloyd Wright
Yet, I didn't understand that she was intentionally disguising her feelings with sarcasm; that was usually the last resort of people who are timid and… — Fyodor Dostoevsky
A modest little person, with much to be modest about. — Winston Churchill
When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I… — Mark Twain
Don't look at me in that tone of voice. — Dorothy Parker
Poison." he said, deadpan. "That's an unusual name to give your child. You must love her very much." She's a treasure." Bram agreed, blithely ignoing… — Chris Wooding
You see, that is the sad, sorry, terrible thing about sarcasm. It's really funny. — Brandon Sanderson
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm. — Steven Wright

Who Wrote These Sarcasm Quotes

301 authors contributed a total of 519 Sarcasm Quotes, led by these top contributors: