« All Sarcasm Quotes · Mark Twain's Page
Sarcasm Quotes by Mark Twain
- Advertisements contain the only truths to be relied on in a newspaper.
- Out of the unconscious lips of babes and sucklings are we satirized.
- Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat.
- Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
- Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.
- Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
- Action speaks louder than words but not nearly as often.
- We have the best government that money can buy.
- Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
- I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
- Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
- Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
- Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable.
- Familiarity breeds contempt - and children.
- I have been complimented many times and they always embarrass me; I always feel that they have not said enough.
- A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.
- When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I…
- I would like to live in Manchester, England. The transition between Manchester and death would be unnoticeable.
- If Christ were here now, there is one thing he would not be a Christian.
More Sarcasm Quotes
- Exactly. She does not shine as a wife even in her own account of what occurred. I am not a whole-souled admirer… — Arthur Conan Doyle
- Any game plan? Xypher asked Sin. Don't die. I like it. Simple, bold. Impossible. Works for me. Kat scoffed at his sarcasm.… — Sherrilyn Kenyon
- The clear problem of the outlawing of insult is that too many things can be interpreted as such. Criticism, ridicule, sarcasm, merely… — Rowan Atkinson
- What I claim is to live to the full the contradiction of my time, which may well make sarcasm the condition of… — Roland Barthes
- Happiness is good health and a bad memory. — Ingrid Bergman
- Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake. — Napoleon Bonaparte
- It's a plastic surgeon you need, not a doctor — John Cleese
- I think you want a little unofficial help. Three undetected murders in one year won't do, Lestrade. But you handled the Molesey… — Arthur Conan Doyle