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Really Quotes by Jack Handey
- If you're a cowboy and you're dragging a guy behind your horse, I bet it would really make you mad if you looked back and…
- If you were a pirate, you know what would be the one thing that would really make you mad? Treasure chests with no handles. How…
- I'd like to see a nude opera, because when they hit those really high notes, I bet you can really see it in those genitals.
- I think the best Thanksgiving we ever had was one where we didn't even have a turkey. Mom and Dad sat us kids down and…
- You know something that would really make me applaud? A guy gets stuck in quicksand, then sinks, then suddenly comes shooting out, riding on water…
- When you go ice-skating, try not to swing your arms too much, because that really annoys me.
- If there's ever an amusement park called Bag World, I bet it would really start to annoy you after a while how they really sort…
- If you ever go temporarily insane, don't shoot somebody, like a lot of people do. Instead, try to get some weeding done, because you'd really…
- Let's be honest: Isn't a lot of what we call tap dancing really just nerves?
- If you make ships in a bottle, I bet the thing that really makes your heart sink is when you look in, and there at…
- If aliens from outer space ever come and we show them our civilization and they make fun of it, we should say we were just…
- If you ever catch on fire, try to avoid seeing yourself in the mirror, because I bet that's what REALLY throws you into a panic.
- It's not good to let any kid near a container that has a skull and crossbones on it, because there might be a skeleton costume…
- I think a good product would be "Baby Duck Hat". It's a fake baby duck, which you strap on top of your head. Then you…
- Tonight, when we were eating dinner, Marta said something that really knocked me for a loop. She said, "I love carrots." "Good," I said as…
- I think one reason I could be a good playboy is I would be willing to spend the time required to really fix up my…
- If you ever catch on fire, try to avoid looking in a mirror, because I bet that will really throw you into a panic.
More Really Quotes
- I don't know I really love u or not. But whenever I think about my life without u it kills me. Whenever… — Anurag Prakash Ray
- I work with really hard-working people who are really good at what they do. — J. J. Abrams
- I'm going to insult a whole industry here, but it seems like TV is for people who can't do film. I'm not… — Kevyn Aucoin
- Yet, so far from laboring to know the forbidden tree of worldly pleasures and its various fruits, man gives himself up to… — Johann Arndt
- I find a lot of things kind of funny and I often say what's on my mind, and then get nine texts… — Kate Beckinsale
- The essence of Taoism is really expressed by these few words. Taoism is the way of the child, the way of the… — Frederick Lenz
- I'm just a part of the scenery, like an old shoe or a rug that you walk on every day but don't… — Superman
- May be my words are enough to tell you , How I feel,But you really need a heart to understand my silence. — Nishan Panwar