"When Armageddon comes, it would be good to……" — Jack Handey
"When Armageddon comes, it would be good to be an Olympic athlete, because running real fast and jumping over stuff could come in handy."
—
Jack Handey
★
★
★
★
★
0.0 avg (0 ratings)
397 Quotes by Jack Handey
Jack Handey has 397 quotes on this site.
A few more worth reading:
-
If any man says he hates war more than I do, he better have a knife, that's all I have…
-
I hope that after I die, people will say of me: 'That guy sure owed me a lot of money.'
-
People think it would be fun to be a bird because you could fly. But they forget the negative side,…
-
The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.
-
I guess of all my uncles, I liked Uncle Caveman the best. We called him Uncle Caveman because he lived…
-
If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater, because then people would sing about me…
-
Is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful flamingo, flying across in front of a beautiful sunset? And he's…
-
What is it about a beautiful sunny afternoon, with the birds singing and the wind rustling through the leaves, that…
-
Not screaming in terror like his passengers.
-
Somebody told me it was frightening how much topsoil we are losing each year, but I told that story around…
-
MEMORIES OF MY FAMILY MEETINGS still are a source of strength to me. I remember we'd all get into the…
-
I BET WHEN NEANDERTHAL KIDS would make a snowman, someone would always end up saying, "Don't forget the thick heavy…
See all 397 quotes by Jack Handey »
More Armageddon Quotes
This quote is filed under Armageddon Quotes,
one of 45 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:
-
I'm not a big fan of the post-Armageddon stories, where Denzel Washington is walking around in a torn coat.
— Albert Brooks
-
What was frustrating about Armageddon was the time I spent not doing anything. It was a big special effects film,…
— Steve Buscemi
-
Gentlemen, as sure as I'm sitting here now, the result of continuation of a non-system, the ostrich-like head-in-the-sand attitude, the…
— Dianne Feinstein
-
An Armageddon is approaching at the beginning of the third millennium. But it is not the cosmic war and fiery…
— E. O. Wilson
-
We are within measurable, or imaginable, distance of a real Armageddon. Happily there seems to be no reason why we…
— H. H. Asquith
-
Will be a divine fight, a holy war...Armageddon on a miniature scale.
— Muhammad Ali
-
I remember the first time Bill Fichtner and I had a scene together. I've seen him in a few movies,…
— Chris Vance
-
Here it is at last, the first 150-minute trailer. Armageddon is cut together like its own highlights. Take almost any…
— Roger Ebert
-
We may be the generation that sees Armageddon.
— Ronald Reagan
-
To prepare adequately for the challenge of global warming, we must acknowledge both the good and the bad that it…
— Bjorn Lomborg
-
There were two different expectations in this land of the future. On the one hand the the optimistic belief in…
— Jürgen Moltmann
-
No where else in Christianity does the terrible or heroic name of Armageddon play such role as in America. Not…
— Jürgen Moltmann
See all 45 Armageddon Quotes »