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Put Quotes by Steven Wright
- For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.
- You can't have everything. Where would you put it?
- If it's a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone, somewhere is making a penny.
- I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.
- George Carlin's album, 'Class Clown,' came out when I was in high school. I memorized a lot of that album. I'd come home from school,…
- I put tape on the mirrors in my house so I don't accidentally walk through into another dimension.
- When I have a kid, I want to buy one of those strollers for twins. Then put the kid in and run around, looking frantic.…
- I washed a sock. Then I put it in the dryer. When I took it out, it was gone.
More Put Quotes
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