Oreo Cookies Quotes by Steven Wright

More Quotes by Steven Wright

Steven Wright has 314 quotes on this site. A few more worth reading:

• A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.
• I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
• I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.'
• I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done.
• I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.
• Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.
• What's another word for Thesaurus?
• For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put them in the same room and let them fight it…
• I think it's wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.
• There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
• Babies don't need a vacation, but I still see them at the beach... it pisses me off! I'll go over to a…
• I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five.

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