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Money Quotes by Jack Handey
- I hope that after I die, people will say of me: 'That guy sure owed me a lot of money.'
- If you ever have to steal money from your kid, and later on he discovers it's gone, I think a good thing to do is…
- I guess I kinda lost control, because in the middle of the play I ran up and lit the evil puppet villain on fire. No,…
- It's easy to sit there and say you'd like to have more money. And I guess that's what I like about it. It's easy. Just…
- I wish I had a dollar for every time I spent a dollar, because then, yahoo!, I'd have all my money back.
- I wish I lived back in the Old West days, because I'd save up my money for about twenty years so I could buy a…
- I think one way police departments could make some money would be to hold a yard sale of murder weapons. Many people, for example, could…
- The whole town laughed at my great-grandfather, just because he worked hard and saved his money. True, working at the hardware store didn't pay much,…
- At first I thought, if I were Superman, a perfect secret identity would be "Clark Kent, Dentist," because you could save money on tooth X-rays.…
- Once I saw my parents argue because we didn't have a lot of money anymore. So, I did what I had to do. I got…
More Money Quotes
- I was always interested in French poetry sort of as a sideline to my own work, I was translating contemporary French poets.… — Paul Auster
- Three groups spend other people's money: children, thieves, politicians. All three need supervision. — Dick Armey
- That money talks, I'll not deny, I heard it once: It said, 'Goodbye'. — Richard Armour
- I don't use a debit card. The safest thing is a credit card because you're using the bank's money. If someone accesses… — Frank Abagnale
- The extravagant expenditure of public money is an evil not to be measured by the value of that money to the people… — Chester A. Arthur
- There are two things people want more than sex and money... recognition and praise. — Mary Kay Ash
- Get that right, then- if you get the quality right, then the marketability or whatever; your ability to sell videos or your… — Rowan Atkinson
- Almost all of our relationships begin and most of them continue as forms of mutual exploitation, a mental or physical barter, to… — Wystan Hugh Auden
- It is a sad fact about our culture that a poet can earn much more money writing or talking about his art… — Wystan Hugh Auden
- The class distinctions proper to a democratic society are not those of rank or money, still less, as is apt to happen… — Wystan Hugh Auden
- A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of. — Jane Austen
- Business, you know, may bring you money, but friendship hardly ever does. — Jane Austen