Masturbate Quotes by Louis C. K.

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• Be strong, believe in freedom and in God, love yourself, understand your sexuality, have a sense of humor, masturbate, don't judge people… — Madonna Ciccone
• If God had intended us not to masturbate, He would have made our arms shorter. — George Carlin
• Every time I talk to a fancy journalist and they ask what I do in my free time my scumbag brain goes… — Anna Kendrick
• If I want low-impact aerobics, I'll masturbate. If I want high-impact aerobics, I'll masturbate again. — Dennis Miller
• If I wanted to see Jonah Hill masturbate at a pool party, I'd go to one of Jonah Hill's pool parties. — Amy Poehler
• I'm very romantic when I masturbate. Sometimes I light a candle...then I try and shoot it out. It's like a carnival. — Dave Attell
• I want to make a movie that has enough impact that it's going to do what it needs to do. But I… — David Fincher
• The Bible says that lust in your heart is committing adultery. So you can't masturbate without lust. — Christine O'Donnell
• It is not enough to be abstinent with other people, you also have to be abstinent alone. The Bible says that lust… — Christine O'Donnell
• We know that more than seventy to eighty percent of women masturbate, and ninety percent of men masturbate, and the rest lie. — Joycelyn Elders
• I was stuck in traffic one day and just kinda thought it would be funny to masturbate. It was sunny and clear… — Zach Braff
• Unlike the millions who casually masturbate in solitude while looking at girlie pictures in Playboy and similar magazines, the massage man preferred… — Gay Talese

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