"If God had intended us not to masturbate,……" — George Carlin
"If God had intended us not to masturbate, He would have made our arms shorter."
—
George Carlin
★
★
★
★
★
0.0 avg (0 ratings)
546 Quotes by George Carlin
George Carlin has 546 quotes on this site.
A few more worth reading:
-
Weather forecast for tonight: dark.
-
The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
-
Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is…
-
Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town.
-
Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why…
-
The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set…
-
Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.
-
Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
-
Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.
-
I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, 'Where's the self-help section?' She said if she told me, it…
-
I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then…
-
The reason I talk to myself is that I'm the only one whose answers I accept.
See all 546 quotes by George Carlin »
More Arms Quotes
This quote is filed under Arms Quotes,
one of 3,936 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:
-
When you care about human beings, you do your best to not repress and to not let people to repress…
— Jean-Bertrand Aristide
-
Both oligarch and tyrant mistrust the people, and therefore deprive them of their arms.
— Aristotle
-
A system is in equilibrium when the forces constituting it are arranged in such a way as to compensate each…
— Rudolf Arnheim
-
Never let the future disturb you. You will meet it, if you have to, with the same weapons of reason…
— Marcus Aurelius
-
I feel more comfortable when I'm lighter - I sleep better, I snore less, I have more endurance when I…
— Tyra Banks
-
These flowers, which were splendid and sprightly, waking in the dawn of the morning, in the evening will be a…
— Pedro Calderon de la Barca
-
Despite two decisions, in 2008 and 2010, by the U.S. Supreme Court unequivocally affirming that the Second Amendment to the…
— Bob Barr
-
When archaeologists discover the missing arms of Venus de Milo, they will find she was wearing boxing gloves.
— John Barrymore
-
A ball had passed between my body and the right arm which supported him, cutting through the sleeve and passing…
— Clara Barton
-
The dance can reveal everything mysterious that is hidden in music, and it has the additional merit of being human…
— Charles Baudelaire
-
For the theatre one needs long arms... an artiste with short arms can never make a fine gesture.
— Sarah Bernhardt
-
The arms race is worse than it ever was, the dumping of creation down a military rat hole is worse…
— Daniel Berrigan
See all 3,936 Arms Quotes »