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Inside Quotes by Jack Handey
- Sometimes when I'm driving behind a big cement truck, I think of how the valve on the truck could suddenly open, spilling cement over my…
- If God dwells inside us, like some people say, I sure hope He like enchiladas, because that's what He's getting!
- I wouldn't be surprised if someday some fisherman caught a big shark and cut it open, and there inside was a whole person. Then they…
- You know what would make a good story? Something about a clown who make people happy, but inside he's real sad. Also, he has severe…
- If you ever crawl inside an old hollow log and go to sleep, and while you're in there some guys come and seal up both…
- I think that a hat which has a little cannon that fires and then goes back inside the hat is at least a decade away.
- You know what would be the most terrifying thing that could ever happen to a flea? Getting caught inside a watch somehow. You don't even…
- It's not good to let any kid near a container that has a skull and crossbones on it, because there might be a skeleton costume…
- The next time I have meat and mashed potatoes, I think I'll put a very large blob of potatoes on my plate with just a…
More Inside Quotes
- It's no accident, I think, that tennis uses the language of life. Advantage, service, fault, break, love, the basic elements of tennis… — Andre Agassi
- If I were an actor I could be someone, someone who'd always know the right things to say. But as soon as… — Superman
- So many women just don't know how great they really are. They come to us all vogue outside and vague on the… — Mary Kay Ash
- Growing up in a Jewish matriarchal world inside the patriarchal paradise of Salt Lake City, Utah, gave me increased perspective on gender… — Roseanne Barr
- I know what its like to want to die; how it hurts to smile; how you try to fit in but you… — Superman
- Meditation is not contemplation because it is not thinking at all - consistent, inconsistent, crazy, sane. It is not thinking at all;… — Rajneesh
- Even the strongest people dying inside, when it comes to love. — Nishan Panwar
- When Whitney Houston died, I felt great sadness. My sadness, of course, was about our collective loss - when you listened to… — James Belushi