"You know what would be the most terrifying……" — Jack Handey
"You know what would be the most terrifying thing that could ever happen to a flea? Getting caught inside a watch somehow. You don't even care, do you."
—
Jack Handey
★
★
★
★
★
0.0 avg (0 ratings)
397 Quotes by Jack Handey
Jack Handey has 397 quotes on this site.
A few more worth reading:
-
If any man says he hates war more than I do, he better have a knife, that's all I have…
-
I hope that after I die, people will say of me: 'That guy sure owed me a lot of money.'
-
People think it would be fun to be a bird because you could fly. But they forget the negative side,…
-
The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.
-
I guess of all my uncles, I liked Uncle Caveman the best. We called him Uncle Caveman because he lived…
-
If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater, because then people would sing about me…
-
Is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful flamingo, flying across in front of a beautiful sunset? And he's…
-
What is it about a beautiful sunny afternoon, with the birds singing and the wind rustling through the leaves, that…
-
Not screaming in terror like his passengers.
-
Somebody told me it was frightening how much topsoil we are losing each year, but I told that story around…
-
MEMORIES OF MY FAMILY MEETINGS still are a source of strength to me. I remember we'd all get into the…
-
I BET WHEN NEANDERTHAL KIDS would make a snowman, someone would always end up saying, "Don't forget the thick heavy…
See all 397 quotes by Jack Handey »
More Care Quotes
This quote is filed under Care Quotes,
one of 13,015 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:
-
When you care about human beings, you do your best to not repress and to not let people to repress…
— Jean-Bertrand Aristide
-
I know how the American people care for that democratic principle. They want to see their vote respected. As we…
— Jean-Bertrand Aristide
-
The wise man does not expose himself needlessly to danger, since there are few things for which he cares sufficiently;…
— Aristotle
-
There's love, and certainly children you care about more than yourself. But nevertheless, we're alone in our heads.
— Paul Auster
-
I don't care who you are, you're going to choke in certain matches. You get to a point where your…
— Arthur Ashe
-
People are not going to care about animal conservation unless they think that animals are worthwhile.
— David Attenborough
-
It is that range of biodiversity that we must care for - the whole thing - rather than just one…
— David Attenborough
-
I'm absolutely strict about it. When I land, I put my watch right, and I don't care what I feel…
— David Attenborough
-
Hunting, fishing, drawing, and music occupied my every moment. Cares I knew not, and cared naught about them.
— John James Audubon
-
On landing at New York I caught the yellow fever. The kind man who commanded the ship that brought me…
— John James Audubon
-
The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts: therefore, guard accordingly, and take care that you…
— Marcus Aurelius
-
An engaged woman is always more agreeable than a disengaged. She is satisfied with herself. Her cares are over, and…
— Jane Austen
See all 13,015 Care Quotes »