« All I Thought Quotes · Jack Handey's Page
I Thought Quotes by Jack Handey
- As we were driving, we saw a sign that said, "Watch for Rocks." Martha said it should read "Watch for Pretty Rocks." I told her…
- As the evening sky faded from a salmon color to a sort of flint gray, I thought back to the salmon I caught that morning,…
- If I was the head of a country that lost a war, and I had to sign a peace treaty, just as I was signing…
- Today I accidentally stepped on a snail on the sidewalk in front of our house. And I thought, I too am like that snail. I…
- One day one of my little nephews came up to me and asked me if the equator was a real line that went around the…
- Worship the potato? The idea seemed silly to me. But then I thought, what else is more deserving of worship? It's simple, it comes from…
- If I was being executed by injection, I'd clean up my cell real neat. Then, when they came to get me, I'd say, "Injection? I…
- I remember how the other kids used to say that old Mister Swenson was the meanest man in town. But I said I thought he…
- The other day I got out my can opener and was opening a can of worms when I thought, "What am I doing?!"
- At first I thought, if I were Superman, a perfect secret identity would be "Clark Kent, Dentist," because you could save money on tooth X-rays.…
- When I heard that trees grow a new 'ring' for each year they live, I thought, we humans are kind of like that: we grow…
More I Thought Quotes
- I went through a phase where I thought nostalgia was a bad thing. — Dario Argento
- Through my illness I learned rejection. I was written off. That was the moment I thought, Okay, game on. No prisoners. Everybody's… — Lance Armstrong
- I thought the attractions of being an astronaut were actually, not so much the Moon, but flying in a completely new medium. — Neil Armstrong
- I suddenly think the job of acting is a difficult one. It's not as flip, irrelevant and shallow a calling as I… — Rowan Atkinson
- In fact, I thought that Christianity was very a good and a very valuable thing for us. But after a while, I… — Chinua Achebe
- I got into trouble a while ago for saying that I thought the internet led to increased literacy - people scolded me… — Margaret Atwood
- I thought of the soul as resembling a castle, formed of a single diamond or a very transparent crystal, and containing many… — Teresa of Avila
- I thought if anyone need a leg up, it was our foster children. So, I started getting involved in education reform, and… — Michele Bachmann
- (On seeing a former lover for the first time in years) I thought I told you to wait in the car. — Tallulah Bankhead
- Los Angeles was an impression of failure, of disappointment, of despair, and of oddly makeshift lives. This is California? I thought. — Joseph Barbera
- I thought the Billie Holiday comparison was beautiful. I think, Wow, what a wonderful, creative, helpful spirit. She's someone who wanted to… — Erykah Badu
- I thought 'Out of Africa' would be a beautiful ballet. — Amy Adams