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Funny Sarcastic Quotes by Dave Barry
1 Funny Sarcastic quote by Dave Barry
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Dave Barry has 529 quotes on this site. A few more worth reading:
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Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.
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Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting.
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Skiing combines outdoor fun with knocking down trees with your face.
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Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet.
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The Democrats seem to be basically nicer people, but they have demonstrated time and again that they have the management skills of…
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'Escargot' is French for 'fat crawling bag of phlegm'.
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The simple truth is that balding African-American men look cool when they shave their heads, whereas balding white men look like giant…
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We believe that electricity exists, because the electric company keeps sending us bills for it, but we cannot figure out how it…
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The word user is the word used by the computer professional when they mean idiot.
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The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl.
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Your modern teenager is not about to listen to advice from an old person, defined as a person who remembers when there…
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Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in January, only more intelligent.
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Popular Funny Sarcastic quotes from across the collection:
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When you stop drinking, you have to deal with this marvelous personality that started you drinking in the first place.
— Jimmy Breslin
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Our national drug is alcohol. We tend to regard the use any other drug with special horror.
— William S. Burroughs
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Man, being reasonable, must get drunk; the best of life is but intoxication.
— Lord Byron
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I'm very serious about no alcohol, no drugs. Life is too beautiful.
— Jim Carrey
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Alcohol is like love. The first kiss is magic, the second is intimate, the third is routine. After that you take the…
— Raymond Chandler
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My rule of life prescribed as an absolutely sacred rite smoking cigars and also the drinking of alcohol before, after and if…
— Winston Churchill
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If they took all the drugs, nicotine, alcohol and caffeine off the market for six days, they'd have to bring out the…
— Dick Gregory
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Alcohol gives you infinite patience for stupidity.
— Sammy Davis, Jr.
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Alcohol doesn't console, it doesn't fill up anyone's psychological gaps, all it replaces is the lack of God. It doesn't comfort man.…
— Marguerite Duras
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A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.
— W.C. Fields
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When I have an idea, I turn down the flame, as if it were a little alcohol stove, as low as it…
— Ernest Hemingway
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Every form of addiction is bad, no matter whether the narcotic be alcohol or morphine or idealism.
— Carl Jung
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