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Everybody Quotes by Jack Handey
- If I lived in the Wild West days, instead of carrying a six-gun in my holster, I'd carry a soldering iron. That was if some…
- Too bad you can't buy a voodoo globe so that you could make the earth spin real fast and freak everybody out.
- I wish everybody would have to have an electric thing implanted in our heads that gave us a shock whenever we did something to disobey…
- The whole town laughed at my great-grandfather, just because he worked hard and saved his money. True, working at the hardware store didn't pay much,…
- Too bad when I was a kid there wasn't a guy in our class that everybody called the "Cricket Boy", because I would have liked…
- Here's a good trick: Get a job as a judge at the Olympics. Then, if some guy sets a world record, pretend that you didn't…
- If Alien was my friend, I'd like to be with him when he went to the dentist. When they started drilling, he'd probably go nuts…
More Everybody Quotes
- Anybody can become angry - that is easy, but to be angry with the right person and to the right degree and… — Aristotle
- Through my illness I learned rejection. I was written off. That was the moment I thought, Okay, game on. No prisoners. Everybody's… — Lance Armstrong
- And it is easy to believe you are not good enough if you listen to everybody else. — Mackenzie Astin
- I am nice to everybody. But people really take advantage of it. — Dan Auerbach
- It scares you: all the noise, the rattling, the shaking. But the look on everybody's face when you're finished and packing, it's… — Red Adair
- Everybody's journey is individual. If you fall in love with a boy, you fall in love with a boy. The fact that… — James A. Baldwin
- The writer's greed is appalling. He wants, or seems to want, everything and practically everybody, in another sense, and at the same… — James A. Baldwin
- According to God's word, everybody at some point is going to be given the opportunity to know the truth. — Stephen Baldwin
- Not everybody trusts paintings but people believe photographs. — Ansel Adams
- I believe forgiveness is possible for everybody, for everything, but I'm a Buddhist. — Alan Ball
- Films should be for everybody. — Antonio Banderas
- I always had a dissociative disorder. But I healed from it over the course of 14 years of big-time therapy. But, you… — Roseanne Barr