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Eels Quotes by Dave Barry
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Dave Barry has 529 quotes on this site. A few more worth reading:
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Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.
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Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting.
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Skiing combines outdoor fun with knocking down trees with your face.
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Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet.
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The Democrats seem to be basically nicer people, but they have demonstrated time and again that they have the management skills of…
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'Escargot' is French for 'fat crawling bag of phlegm'.
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The simple truth is that balding African-American men look cool when they shave their heads, whereas balding white men look like giant…
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We believe that electricity exists, because the electric company keeps sending us bills for it, but we cannot figure out how it…
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The word user is the word used by the computer professional when they mean idiot.
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The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl.
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Your modern teenager is not about to listen to advice from an old person, defined as a person who remembers when there…
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Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in January, only more intelligent.
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More Eels Quotes
Popular Eels quotes from across the collection:
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Getting married is like putting one's hand in a bag containing 99 serpents and one eel.
— Thomas More
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A mere index hunter, who held the eel of science by the tail.
— Tobias Smollett
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I hate a style, as I do a garden, that is wholly flat and regular; that slides along like an eel, and…
— William Shenstone
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My hovercraft is full of eels.
— John Cleese
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I gotta go home and feed my eels. They're not electric, but I have a plan.
— Octavia Spencer
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POLITICIAN, n. An eel in the fundamental mud upon which the superstructure of organized society is reared. When he wriggles, he mistakes…
— Ambrose Bierce
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The funniest thing about comedy is that you never know why people laugh. I know what makes them laugh but trying to…
— W.C. Fields
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In Spain, attempting to obtain a chicken salad sandwich, you wind up with a dish whose name, when you look it up…
— Dave Barry
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A mere index hunter, who held the eel of science by the tail. Index-hunter is a term used mockingly, meaning one who…
— Tobias Smollett
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It's just that to a lot of British people George Bush represents the worst of all things American. He's the right-wing Christian…
— Graham Joyce
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[W]hat have we done with our forests? Chopped them, and burned them, and wasted them; and now almost the last of the…
— Madison Grant
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Be an electric eel in a goldfish pond!
— Unknown Author
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