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Mitch Hedberg's Page
Control Now Quotes by Mitch Hedberg
1 Control Now quote by Mitch Hedberg
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Mitch Hedberg has 172 quotes on this site. A few more worth reading:
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Alcoholism is the only disease that you can get yelled at for having.
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Alcoholism is a disease, but it's the only one you can get yelled at for having. Goddamn it Otto, you are an…
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I hate turkeys. If you stand in the meat section at the grocery store long enough, you start to get mad at…
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I like rice. Rice is great if you're hungry and want 2000 of something picketing, but I don't know how to show…
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Foosball screwed up my perception of soccer. I though you had to kick the ball and then spin around and around. I…
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If you drink O'Douls, you don't drink; but if you drink 20 O'Douls in a half hour, then you're a non-alcoholic.
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I went to a restaurant, and I saw a guy wearing a leather jacket, eating a hamburger, drinking a glass of milk.…
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What am I drinking? NyQuil on the rocks, for when you're feeling sick but sociable.
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More Control Now Quotes
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In fact, I think that our society expects schools to get students to the point where they do things only for outside…
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I never did that badly with women when I wasn't on telly, but it's a bit out of control now. Women try…
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However, I also want to say this. The ranch standoff that took place out in Nevada was not about a man named…
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What you feel spiritually. I think a lot of that has to do with it. If you have no spiritual life, chances…
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My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on.
— Joan Rivers
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Satan has control now. No matter where you look, he is in control, even in our own land. He is guiding the…
— Joseph Fielding Smith
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You're punishing him over and over for things that are out of his control. Now, I'm not saying you shouldn't have a…
— Suzanne Collins
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Learn from the past, set vivid, detailed goals for the future,and live in the only moment of time over which you have…
— Denis Waitley
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