« All Comedy Quotes · Emo Philips's Page
Comedy Quotes by Emo Philips
- People come up to me... concerned... that I'll reproduce.
- My classmates would copulate with anything that moved, but I never saw any reason to limit myself.
- Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps.
- At my lemonade stand I used to give the first glass away free and charge five dollars for the second glass. The refill contained the…
- Always remember the last words of my grandfather, who said: 'A truck!'
- He taught me never to smile, which helps me when I visit disaster sites.
- I discovered my wife in bed with another man, and I was crushed. So I said, 'Get off me, you two!'
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