« All Me Quotes · Emo Philips's Page
Me Quotes by Emo Philips
- I used to think that the brain was the most wonderful organ in my body. Then I realized who was telling me this.
- I used to be scared of pretty girls, until one confessed they're just as scared of me.
- I was walking home one night and a guy hammering on a roof called me a paranoid little weirdo. In morse code.
- People come up to me... concerned... that I'll reproduce.
- People come up to me and say, 'Emo, do people really come up to you?'
- I was feeling a bit down, I went to a therapist a few times, at a hundred bucks a pop. But then I realized that…
- The question is absurd: when you ask, 'If God is both all good and all powerful, why then does He allow suffering?', what you are…
- I got some new underwear the other day. Well, new to me.
- A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
- When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way…
- My computer beat me at checkers, but I sure beat it at kickboxing.
- He taught me never to smile, which helps me when I visit disaster sites.
- I discovered my wife in bed with another man, and I was crushed. So I said, 'Get off me, you two!'
- People always ask me, 'Where were you when Kennedy was shot?' Well, I don't have an alibi.
- My mother was like a sister to me, only we didn't have sex quite so often.
- I asked my girlfriend, 'Will you marry me?' She said, 'We'll have to ask my father.' So we had a seance and Jack Ruby says,…
- My girlfriend told me that she was seeing another man. I told her to rub her eyes.
- My girlfriend said to me in bed last night' 'you're a pervert' I said, 'that's a big word for a girl of nine'.
- When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realised that The Lord doesn't work that way,…
More Me Quotes
- Don't be selfish and tell me why you're unfollowing me so I can retweet it for the rest and we all can… — Nikhil Saluja
- I don't know I really love u or not. But whenever I think about my life without u it kills me. Whenever… — Anurag Prakash Ray
- Throughout all of this confusion, I hope I somehow get to you. I practice all the things I'd say to tell you… — Superman
- Having been a child actor, I remember how directors would trick me to get good performances out of me. I don't think… — Asia Argento
- I'm not who you think I am. In fact, my disguise is so thin I'm surprised you haven't seen right through me.… — Superman
- I realize my mistake when I lost you in the crowd. I felt the pain n loneliness when I lost you. U… — Anurag Prakash Ray
- Ironically, the first thing that appealed to me about Islam was its pluralism. The fact that the Koran praises all the great… — Karen Armstrong
- I love you, and because I love you, I would sooner have you hate me for telling you the truth than adore… — Pietro Aretino