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- I go from stool to stool in singles bars hoping to get lucky, but there's never any gum under any of them.
- You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman: Stuff…
- Women: You can't live with them, and you can't get them to dress up in a skimpy little Nazi costume and beat you with a…
- I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, 'I'm going to mop the floor with your face.' I…
- I was in a bar the other night, hopping from barstool to barstool, trying to get lucky, but there wasn't any gum under any of…
- I discovered my wife in bed with another man, and I was crushed. So I said, 'Get off me, you two!'
- When I wake up in the morning, I just can't get started until I've had that first, piping hot pot of coffee. Oh, I've tried…
- If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee - that will do them in
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- Throughout all of this confusion, I hope I somehow get to you. I practice all the things I'd say to tell you… — Superman
- Having been a child actor, I remember how directors would trick me to get good performances out of me. I don't think… — Asia Argento
- Most people would rather give than get affection. — Aristotle
- Whenever I miss you. I just close my eyes and I see your smiling face and half of my problems automatically get… — Anurag Prakash Ray
- Flattery and deceit are the darlings of great men, and so with these men spread the butter on thick, if you want… — Pietro Aretino
- Jealousy is both reasonable and belongs to reasonable men, while envy is base and belongs to the base, for the one makes… — Aristotle
- I find a lot of things kind of funny and I often say what's on my mind, and then get nine texts… — Kate Beckinsale