"My girlfriend said to me in bed last……" — Emo Philips
"My girlfriend said to me in bed last night' 'you're a pervert' I said, 'that's a big word for a girl of nine'."
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Emo Philips
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78 Quotes by Emo Philips
Emo Philips has 78 quotes on this site.
A few more worth reading:
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I'm filthy stinking rich - well, two out of three ain't bad.
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I used to think that the brain was the most wonderful organ in my body. Then I realized who was…
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I was walking down the street. something caught my eye, and dragged it fifteen feet.
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New York's such a wonderful city. Although I was at the library today. The guy was very rude. I said,…
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I'm not a fatalist; even if I were, what could I do about it?
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So I'm at the wailing wall, standing there like a moron, with my harpoon.
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Ambiguity — the Devil's volleyball.
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I used to be scared of pretty girls, until one confessed they're just as scared of me.
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When I was ten, my family moved to Downer's Grove, Illinois. When I was twelve, I found them.
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Cell phones are like a dog's nipples... you don't have to shout into them!
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Lord please break the laws of the universe for my convenience. Amen.
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I was walking home one night and a guy hammering on a roof called me a paranoid little weirdo. In…
See all 78 quotes by Emo Philips »
More Bed Quotes
This quote is filed under Bed Quotes,
one of 3,432 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:
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I'm sure most of us remember being a kid and you have all of this endless time where two weeks…
— Andrea Arnold
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I'm absolutely strict about it. When I land, I put my watch right, and I don't care what I feel…
— David Attenborough
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Evil is unspectacular and always human, and shares our bed and eats at our own table.
— Wystan Hugh Auden
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A man can do a television interview and roll out of bed 15 minutes before; it's just not the same…
— Michele Bachmann
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I wake up every morning, look in the mirror and ask, 'Am I a sex symbol?' Then I go back…
— Antonio Banderas
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I have three phobias which, could I mute them, would make my life as slick as a sonnet, but as…
— Tallulah Bankhead
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The heart of the jealous knows the best and most satisfying love, that of the other's bed, where the rival…
— Djuna Barnes
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Birth control that really works - every night before we go to bed we spend an hour with our kids.
— Roseanne Barr
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Remember how you used to be able to feel your bed breathing and the walls spinning when you were a…
— Lynda Barry
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One of the secrets of a long and fruitful life is to forgive everybody everything everynight before you go to…
— Bernard Baruch
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This life is a hospital in which every patient is possessed with a desire to change his bed.
— Charles Baudelaire
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Early to bed and early to rise is a bad rule for anyone who wishes to become acquainted with our…
— George Ade
See all 3,432 Bed Quotes »