Ass Quotes

2172 Ass quotes by 1145 unique authors

Take your ass to the corner of Know Your Role Boulevard and Jabroni Drive. — Dwayne Johnson
I'll open up a can of whoop-ass on you! — Stone Cold Steve Austin
The Rock is going to lay the smacketh down on your candy ass! — Dwayne Johnson
I have taken your advice, and the names used are anode cathode anions cations and ions; the last I shall have but little occasion for.… — Michael Faraday
For sure, they don't teach you this in history class, but in colonial times, the person who got left in the stocks overnight was nothing… — Chuck Palahniuk
Honey, Kate is not going to die sooner because you have one more glass of mine, or because you stay overnight in a hotel, or… — Jodi Picoult
I guarantee, that if I am elected, I will take over the White House, hang out, shoot pool, scratch my ass, and not do a… — Utah Phillips
I call my dad 'Admiral Ass Hat,' he doesn't really think it's funny. — Jay Crownover
The wedding vows are a license to be a complete jerk, with full knowledge that the person you married has agreed, no matter how large… — Adriana Trigiani
The ass will carry his load, but not a double load; ride not a free horse to death. — Miguel de Cervantes
Sex is something I really don't understand too hot. You never know where the hell you are. I keep making up these sex rules for… — J D Salinger
The real story of our times is seldom told in the horse-puckey-filled memoirs of dopey, self-serving presidents or generals, but in the outrageous, demented lives… — Harlan Ellison
You punch like you take it up the ass. — Jake LaMotta
As a theatrical troupe, the Muppets haven't exactly been AWOL these past dozen years; the gang rocked YouTube in 2009 with their kick-ass rendition of… — Lisa Schwarzbaum
Let The Rock understand this, he beats your ass in cage match last week and now your the number 1 contender? Well The Rock knows… — Dwayne Johnson
What color is the sky in your world Cena. You're talking what Wrestlmania needs to be, but allow me to demenstrate what's going to happen.… — Ron Killings
What's twelve inches long and hangs in front on ass, Mankind's tie. — Jerry Lawler
Yes I have a belt. I wear big pants because my ass is huge. So I can't go to a store by off the rack… — John Cena
There is about to be a big cowboy boot in your ass if you dont shut up. — Jim Ross
I came, I saw, and I KICKED Stone Cold's ASS! — Vince McMahon
I don't want to be grotesque, but when you're 330 pounds, it's hard to wipe your ass. You know? — Mike Tyson
If I were 50 years younger, I would kick your ass — Larry Merchant
The Nazi signs have got to stop. If you're in a peace march and the guy next to you has a sign saying that 'Bush… — Dennis Miller
But this is the kind of ass-clownery that stems from the fact that all philosophy looks weird when you don't have one. — Jonah Goldberg
As to the human race. There are many pretty and winning things about the human race. It is perhaps the poorest of all the inventions… — Mark Twain

Who Wrote These Ass Quotes

1,145 authors contributed a total of 2,172 Ass Quotes, led by these top contributors: